Whether you are new to the world of BDSM, or already have some experience, it never hurts to get some inspiration and ideas. Right? Below I will offer some suggestions for ways you and your partner can experiment with humiliation.

Don’t think of the list below purely as inspiration. It is also a comprehensive guide with explanations of terminology, BDSM safety tips, links and more. You may therefore want to add this page to your favorites so you can read it again at your leisure.

What is Humiliation and Degradation in the context of BDSM?

BDSM involves a play in which power plays an important role. It involves giving up power, or gaining power, but always with the full consent of all involved. Even in innocent role-playing games, there is usually a dominant and a submissive part.

By playing with power, there can be a tension of emotions and psychological twists and turns, exploring boundaries. How intense or lighthearted you make it is different for everyone. For some, BDSM is role-playing for every now and then; for others, it is a way of life.

In BDSM, the person giving out power is the submissive party. Humiliation and degradation of the submissive aims to experience (sexual) arousal from that for both parties. How that humiliation takes place depends on the need. Sometimes a small ritual can already take away the feeling of status or dignity. For others, it takes more. Always discuss in advance what you do and definitely do not want.

BDSM allows you to explore and learn about your personal boundaries and those of your partner, through the dynamics of power and control in a setting that reinforces feelings and desires. Trust, safety, curiosity, empathy and open communication are extremely important in this process. Both parties must make themselves vulnerable in order to endure humiliation or exercise humiliation. For this, it is important that you agree clear boundaries in advance and give permission to act within the agreed boundaries. Without these boundaries and consent, BDSM can be dangerous, both physically and psychologically. Practitioners of BDSM therefore often speak of RACK (risk-aware consensual kink).

Partners who practice BDSM must take good care of each other and themselves. If something does not feel right, it should be stopped immediately. Therefore, it is important not only to discuss boundaries beforehand but also to agree on a safeword. Some work with a traffic light (green = I am okay and will continue, orange = it may be a little milder, red = stop immediately).

Aftercare is as important as prior agreements. Physical injuries must be attended to. Psychologically, the submissive must be supported. Talk, show appreciation and empathy, and provide adequate food and drink.

Suggestions for humiliation

Below we list many suggestions for you. Don’t let them limit you. Use them as inspiration.

Clothing

1. Forced cross-dressing: Have your partner wear lingerie under his clothes, for example, your pink panties, or a garter belt with stockings and a bra. Challenge him to do so on a regular day, such as a regular work day. The fun part of this challenge is that it is a secret mission. No one else has to know, but it can provide extra thrills and excitement. This challenge is not about the clothes, but about stepping out of your comfort zone and pushing boundaries.
2. Commando challenge: Instead of specific underwear, you can also command your partner to go out just without underwear. Instruct them to go outside without wearing underwear under their clothes. Choose tight or see-through clothes so that your sub is all the more self-conscious about the lack of underwear.
3. Dress code: Implement a strict dress code that your sub must adhere to. Choose outfits that reinforce their vulnerability or discomfort. This may lie in the material (itchy fabric, tight-fitting latex), or that what the clothing exudes (slutty/whorey, or just a role – see also role play).
4. Chastity cages: Have your sub wear a chastity cage or belt under their clothes when they go to work, on outings, or when shopping. Especially in public places, have it clearly visible that the sub is wearing something under their clothes for added intensity.
5. FMLM heels: Have your sub walk in extremely high heels (Fuck Me Lick Me heels). This already won’t be easy, but think of additional tasks if necessary (walking with a full glass without spilling).
6. Lettering: Print a T-shirt with humiliating text and have your sub walk in it in public places. Use a text that does not offend anyone. Think “you can touch my breasts,” “street whore,” or “feel my pussy. Bring a jacket that can cover the text at times when the text is inappropriate. Instead of a T-shirt, you can use a printed collar, or a paper bag.
7. Wet spot: Make a wet spot in your sub’s crotch and let them walk around like this. Now it looks like your sub has done it in the pants. You can go a step further by having your sub actually pee first with the clothes still on.
8. Exhibitionism: Choose clothing that barely conceals the genitals. Then subject your sub to situations that expose the genitals. Consider a miniskirt and then have your sub sit or bend over somewhere. Also combine this, for example, with a butt plug that becomes visible when bending over.

Location

Be sure to pick locations where you won’t let other people involuntarily witness your experiments. If you really want to do things in front of others, choose BDSM parties, or private gatherings with kinky friends.

1. Outdoor Bondage: Try tying he partner in the open air. If it is too extreme for you to do this in the open countryside (because of the danger of being caught), consider a part of your yard in which you remain unseen from neighbors or passersby. This challenge is mainly about feeling exposed to the outside temperature (or in some more extreme cases also the rain or snow) and yet safe within the limits you have set. do consider the submissive’s safety and protect them from too extreme exposure of sun, temperature or cold.
2. On the floor: Require your sub to sleep or rest on the floor. Confirm status as a sub while resting on the floor. Provide a simple mat or blanket (too small) to sleep with. Do provide adequate warmth.
3. Desk arrest: Have your sub sit next to or under your desk at home while you work. Give rules and assignments, which they must fulfill as your faithful assistant or silent observer. Consider fetching things, massaging your feet, getting coffee, serving as a footstool, …
4. Remote control: Have your sub wear a remote-controlled sex toy in the underwear. Then send your sub to a store, or go to a restaurant together. Turn on the toy in the most uncomfortable situations. Give the remote control to someone else from time to time.
5. Shopping: Have your sub buy a strange combination of items. Consider a cucumber, lube and an erotic magazine. Have your sub checkout at the busiest checkout line. If necessary, have your sub also ask the staff questions about the objects.
6. Humiliating objects: Have your sub walk in public with a humiliating object. Consider a large dildo, an inflatable doll, or just a teddy bear. Be sure to match the object to the location (use vanilla objects in real public places)
7. Exhibitionism (2): Have sex with your sub in front of a window with the curtains open, or on a balcony. That way passersby can catch you. Choose a location and time when you won’t get into trouble.
8. Shopping: Take your sub out shopping and make it a show to pick out humiliating clothing for your sub (e.g. obvious cross-dressing).
9. Sex furniture: Place your sub in sex furniture and use fucking machines or invite others to use your sub. Adding bondage allows you to add new elements.

Body

1. Nail polish: With nail polish, you can be infinitely creative and experiment. Is it only about the act of applying nail polish, or also the humiliation of wearing it? Performing a pedicure or manicure for the dominant person can also be humiliating.
2. Lipstick: The same as with nail polish you can also do with lipstick.
3. Perfume: Use a perfume meant for the opposite sex.
4. Hair removal: Complete hairlessness can be degrading and humiliating. Not only being hairless, but also the act of hair removal. The extent to which you want to subject the submissive to this depends on your boundaries. Will you only go for pubic hair, or also body hair or even head hair. The method can also involve different forms of humiliation. Shaving is intimate and temporary, waxing is painful and temporary, laser hair removal is permanent (and painful).
5. Hairstyle: If shaving your head hair is going too far, devise a hairstyle that is degrading, for example, ponytails with pink bows and glitter.
6. Body perfume: Smear your bodily fluids (urine, semen, vaginal fluids, saliva) on the sub and make the sub “wear” it before allowing the sub to wash it off. Also consider having the sub walk around with it in public for humiliation. Again, start with small things and build it up if desired. Make lubricating the bodily fluids a nice ritual, letting the bodily fluids be part of asserting your authority.
7. The thrill of spanking: Embrace the timeless art of spanking as a form of punishment, pleasure or just to spice up your playtime. Experiment with different tools, techniques and intensity to find what suits you and your partner best.
8. Enema Expedition: Try performing a thorough enema. Experiment with volume and ingredients to intensify the sensation. Always do your research for safety!
9. Inspection: Have your sub undergo an intensive inspection of all body cavities. You can also combine this with role play (doctor, customs, army, religion, …).
10. Writing: With a thick marker, write humiliating words on your sub (“sperm slut,” “fuck doll,” …).
11. Small penis humiliation: Make fun of e sub’s penis by using demeaning and derogatory terms to describe it.
12. Imprint: Make an imprint of his penis and penetrate him with it.
13. Sunburn: Write something with sunburn before you sit in the sun so that it leaves a white mark. Or have your sub (man) wear a bikini top while sunbathing to make discoloration.

Obedience

1. Worship: Let your sub verbally worship you and insult your sub if the words do not meet your expectation.
2. Kiss the ground you walk on: Literally. Have your sub kiss the ground, or the chair you are going to sit on or have sat on.
3. Rules: Set rules and have your sub recite them repeatedly (even in front of others).
4. Urination Protocol: Impose rules about how to urinate. For example, require your submissive to urinate only under supervision, sitting on a potty, or just without taking the clothes off. Obedience and vulnerability on the one hand and entertainment on the other. You can also go a step further and not just stick to peeing. You can also protocol other toilet use.
5. Diaper discipline: There is a surprising amount of creative stuff out there when it comes to diapers. You can play out scenes in many different ways using diapers, so wearing and using them can lead to embarrassing submission.
6. Silent submission: Impose rules about how to communicate. For example, using only gestures or certain sounds to make something clear. Create your own secret language for positions, or actions.
7. Forced abstinence: Roll dice to determine how long your sub must go without orgasm. The uncertainty and anticipation of forced chastity brings excitement. Decide whether the value should be counted in minutes, hours, days, or months. Consider using a chastity device to further limit the possibility of orgasm.
8. Routine rituals: Have your sub perform simple tasks on command, such as kneeling, striking a pose, or reciting phrases. Start with simple commands such as “kneel. Build it up slowly.
9. Pay pig: Turn your sub into a paying pig and make them pay the bill for anything you want. Make them carry your shopping bags while walking behind you with their eyes down.
10. No Peeking: Enforce a rule where your sub is not allowed to make eye contact with you and assert your dominance in this. This is especially powerful when combined with other forms of humiliation.
11. Permission: Have your sub ask permission for everything. even to speak. If necessary, set rules about wording, for example, instead of “may I go to the bathroom?”, “may I piss in the john?”. Also, have your sub ask for permission to cum and give permission as late as possible (or none at all).
12. Edging: Delay your sub’s orgasm as long as possible (edging). Make this as difficult as possible, such as by using a wand vibrator.
13. Begging: Make your sub beg and plead for something they want or need. This can be anything. From being allowed to get up, to going to the bathroom, to being allowed to cum. Postpone satisfying that need as long as possible.
14. Social Media Status: Change the social media status in your sub’s bio, making it clear that your sub is your property. Do this only in social media profiles that do not invade your sub’s privacy (i.e., not on LinkedIn).
15. Following: Have your sub walk behind you at a certain distance as a sign of submission and obedience. Consider adding a collar and harness and making your sub crawl on hands and knees.
16. Handcuffs: Secure your sub with handcuffs to a shopping cart while shopping, for example. Or tie hands behind the back during a walk outside.
17. Oral obedience: “Force” your sub to perform oral sex or other sexual gratification. Give lots of verbal commands and comments, which increase humiliation.
18. Sharing: Share your sub with other dominants. Exchange them exclusively, or in your presence. Have your sub perform sexual acts, to explore their submissive side.
19. Serving: Invite kinky friends over and let your sub serve you. How far you go in this depends on your limits and those of your guests. Consider serving food and drinks naked, or just sitting under the table and licking everyone’s feet, to orally pampering all the guests.
20. Sex Slave: Organize an “auction” with kinky friends, in which you auction off acts to be performed by your sub to the highest bidder.
21. Sex doll: Go one step further and dress your sub as a sex doll and let a group of kinkster friends use her. This will make your sub feel like an object.
22. Masturbate: Have your sub masturbate in front of you and give away a real show. But possibly add humiliating elements, such as strange objects to masturbate with (a teddy bear, foods). Also add elements such as edging, asking permission, etc.
23. Watching (cuckold, cuckqueen): Let your sub witness you having sex with another person. Make it humiliating by comparing performance and say how they can never measure up to this person.

Role play

1. Animal behavior: Let your sub explore his animal side by dressing up and acting like an animal. Consider a pet animal, such as a dog or cat, or a somewhat larger animal such as horse, or feline. But also explore your boundaries especially with some more unusual animals, such as a snake, or reptile. Let your sub crawl around on all fours, fetching objects, begging for treats. With a mask on, or a tail in, your sub soon imagines herself to be your submissive quadruped.
2. Housekeeper: Turn your sub into a house maid and put them to work doing the dirty chores. Add extra humiliation by doing extra dirty chores (cleaning the toilet), or cleaning hard-to-reach places. Make your housemaid wear nice whorish clothes, but especially very little clothes!
3. The human dumpster: Turn your sub into a human dumpster. Start with simple items such as used tissues or paper scraps. Then move on to more degrading objects such as food scraps. You can also use your sub as an ashtray. Watch out for burns, though.
4. Gender switching: During play, have your sub act like someone of a different gender, preferably the gender that is the opposite of the preferred one.
5. Army: Take on the role of drill inspector and have your sub scrub your floor with a toothbrush. Add a competitive element by timing them. And raise your voice like a real drill inspector would.
6. Rimming: Have your sub rimming you or someone else as a form of obedience and submission. Add commands if necessary.
7. Furniture piece: Your sub is a table, a chair, or a footstool. Rest comfortably by placing your feet on your sub. Or have your sub hold your glass while you read a (pornographic) book.

Food and drink

1. Unique cutlery: Let your sub eat with unusual items. Don’t be afraid to be creative. For example, chopsticks made of clothespins, dillators instead of forks,a dildo instead of a spoon,….
2. Drooling: Put a gag in your submissive and watch how impossible it is not to drool. Talking is even more of a challenge.
3. Sperm Surprise: Put semen in, on, or through your submissive’s food and have it eaten. Of course, you do inform your partner of this special ingredient.
4. Food Tray: Serve the food in a food tray. Place that tray on the floor near your feet. You can create a special dynamic with this and go as far as you want. For example, think of a personalized bowl (“food bowl for my slut”). You can also have your sub eat the food off the floor completely without a bowl. Or to feed your sub with a spoon (or other object, such as a dildo) while kneeling in front of or beside you. Or feed your sub the way animals do with their offspring, by putting food from your mouth into theirs.
5. Golden drink: Let your submissive taste your or their own urine. Start let sipping, or a few drops on the tongue. Build it up further, as long as it is within your limits. By building it up, it is a gradual journey to trust and submission. From experience, I can tell you that it can also be extremely intimate.
6. Sploshing: Go a step beyond squirting the other person with whipped cream. A big step. Sploshers cover each other with pudding, cake, or other foods and make a real mess. Let your sub eat from its own body, or lick from your fingers.
7. Dirty tasting: Let them eat food they hate. Start by mixing small bits of the despised food and mix it into their favorite meal. Experiment with unpleasant combinations such as Brussels sprouts with peanut butter, or shrimp with mold cheese. You can do the same with drinks. Mix disgusting concoctions and have them drunk. Beware of allergies and keep it safe and consensual. A variation of this is that you go out to dinner together, but you order for your sub. Your sub has to eat what you have served.
8. Figging: Figging is the name for playing with ginger root. Peel ginger root and insert it vaginally or anally. It will give a (harmless) burning sensation. Be careful with the shape and thickness of the ginger root. Make sure it cannot break off or disappear completely into the anus.
9. Cum consumption: Have your sub lick his or her own fluids clean after sex. Comment frequently to increase the humiliation.
10. Human plate: Your sub is the tray. Place your sub naked on the table and cover the body with sushi (Nyotaimori). Enjoy the sushi alone, or together with other kinksters. Don’t forget the wasabi.
11. Cookies: Bake cookies in certain shapes and have your sub eat them at work or in public places. Think of cookies in the shape of body parts, as well as dog cookies, for example.

Punishment

It is important to know and understand your sub’s limits. You can’t just punish and expect it to work. It’s all about finding the line between discipline and desire. The punishment does need to be somewhat in line with the offense. Don’t overdo it.

1. Set goals: Make a list of specific goals that are simple, clear and achievable. For example: send a nude picture every day, cum 2 times every day, hold a plug for at least 20 minutes, send a good morning and good night text every day, etc. Give a score when one of these goals is met. And set an overall goal. If the overall goal is met at the end of the week, the sub gets a reward (this can be something as simple as a kiss). Otherwise, a punishment follows (no orgasm for a week).
2. Wash your mouth: Parents used to make their children wash their mouths with soap if they disobeyed. Be careful with this, but if done in moderation, it can be humiliating. In Indonesian families, by the way, soap was replaced by sambal.
3. Social media confession: Have your sub describe the most humiliating experiences on a social media platform such as twitter (X) or in a blog.
4. Feedback: After or during a challenge, discuss how your sub is doing. Point out each mistake. For example, predetermine a punishment that your sub will receive if too many mistakes are made. But also a reward if your sub did well.
5. Ignore: Completely ignore your sub and give your sub no attention whatsoever.
6. Pegging: While this is not a punishment for every sub, pegging can be. Start with a small toy and use lots of lube. Fuck your sub in the ass like a whore.
7. Swearing: Humiliate your sub by magnifying insecurities and vulnerabilities. Insult their intelligence or accomplishments as a form of psychological humiliation. Make it as specific as possible.
8. Nicknames: Give your sub a derogatory nickname, such as slut, whore, bitch, sissy. Disparaging descriptions can also do, as can animal descriptions, such as puppy, piggy, tramp, fuck bunny. A nickname that refers to something – for example, because it refers to something between you – comes off harder.
9. Pronouns: Refer to your sub not as he or she, but with derogatory pronouns, such as “this slut.
10. Tying up: Tie up your sub and then leave it for a while. Be careful not to make it too uncomfortable and keep an eye on your sub to see how your sub is doing.
11. Penalty: Have your sub write down a sentence 100 times, such as “I’m a dirty slut and only good for eating cum.

Video

1. Porn: Give your sub some links of unconventional porn and discuss them with your sub. Think extreme bondage, tentacle hentai, bukkake, … What is arousing? Where are boundaries?
2. Filming: Film your own journey of discovery of humiliating moments and watch it back together.
3. Webcam: Let your sub give away a show in front of the webcam. Whether you watch only yourself, have a select group watch, or sign your sub up with a webcam service (OnlyFans, for example) is up to you.

Discover

1. Choosing: Make a list of humiliations (or use this one) and let your sub choose a humiliation himself. Or have your sub add to the list with humiliations of her own devising.
2. Essay: Have your sub write an essay or story that focuses on humiliation. Let the story be personal so that it is about you. Or specifically about sex with someone you both know (which can make it very uncomfortable).
3. Dildo: Have your sub practice with a dildo, such as oral or anal. Start with a small one and then try bigger and bigger or stranger dildos.
4. Rituals: Build rituals together. These act as a kind of secret code on your power exchange. By doing so, you give more meaning to your union. Like going to the gym regularly, rituals can help your sub last longer and get better at the submissive role.