Are you curious what ‘edging’ is and how postponing your orgasm can improve your sex life? NBRplaza explains.
What is Edging?
Edging is a form of orgasm control in which during a longer period of arousal, the orgasm is abstained. The goal is abstention in an erotic way in order to postpone your or your partner’s orgasm. By repeating delaying the orgasm a couple of times in a row, before allowing an orgasm, you will experience a much more intense orgasm. Usually the orgasm is stalled for 3 to 5 times, before the orgasm is finally granted.
Edging makes you aware of your PONR (point of no return), het increases the volume of the ejaculate (for a man) and it enhances your mental strength.
Edging is also called surfing or teasing. It is a great way to increase the volume of a man’s ejaculate, but it is also a technique to make sex last longer. It will allow you to get to know your own body and that of your partner better. This technique is not so much about suppressing your arousal, but more about getting as close to the highest point of arousal, without going over the edge.
It will cost some awareness and communication to master the art of delay. But eventually you will find taht the orgasm will be much more intense. Of course, you can do this alone, but also together with a partner. You must be able to recognize when your partner is ‘on the edge’ of an orgasm and stop on the right time , or reduce the tempo or pressure. That’s why edging is often only possible with someone who you know really well, or with yourself.
Practice makes perfect
Edging demands self control and discipline. It is not surprising that because of this, you might find yourself accidentally getting over the edge, before you were meant to. And because of the aspect of discipline, it is frequently practiced in the BDSM scene. Then again, it is also a major part of tantric sex. And it can help in treating premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.
Ttraining your pelvic floor muscles, for example with Ben Wa balls, can help you to better control your orgasm. But as with so many things, practice makes perfect. Don’t give up. In order to postpone the orgasm of a man, try to focus on the base of the penis (near the belly) in stead of the frenulum (the sensitive triangle near the top) or the glans.
Using condoms that delay orgasm, like Pjur Delay Condom or Pasante Delay Condom, can be a helpful tool. These condoms have a coating on the inside that sedate the penis just slightly. There are also personal lubes wit hthe same effect, like Pasante Magic Delay. Applying these instruments at the beginning of an edging session, will prolong sex considerably. When you want to use condoms in your edging play, you can start off with a delay condom and switch to a normal one when you want to allow the orgasm. Or, when you don’t use condoms, you can start off with delay-spray or gel and switch to stimulating gel like Durex Lovers Connect.
For women, edging is often easier. That is, if you don’t use vibrators, because those can induce an orgasm quite swiftly and unexpectedly. Try using a sex toy without any vibration and only switch it on when you want to allow her to come.
It is all a matter of teasing. Sex is something that goes on between our ears, more than between our legs. Stimulate the area around the most sensitive parts (like the clitoris), but don’t touch it directly. Pay attention to breath and movement of your partner.
Your Point Of No Return (PONR)
When you (often) experience a premature orgasm, and you are under the impression that just happened to you, it is important to recognize your PONR: the point at which you can no longer postpone the inevitable orgasm. As soon as you start to recognize that particular point, you will be able to control your orgasm. When you do recognize your PONR and you decide to allow yourself to go beyond it, it will be a deliberate choice and there will be no one else to blame but you.
In the end, and as you get lder, you will get better in controlling your orgasm. You might wait until it happens, but you can also practice. Especially when you masturbate, the urge to come is often really high. It takes willpower to not pass the edge and stay close to your orgasm for 20 to 30 minutes.
Edging in 6 simple steps
First of all, you are going to need time. Especially young people often have the urge to masturbate quickly, because they are afraid to get caught by their roommates. So make sure you will not be disturbed, for at least a half hour (but preferably much longer).
1) Stimulate yourself untill you are aroused. Focus on all the sensations in your body.
2) Stimulate yourself or your partner, but avoid the most sensitive parts.
3) When you feel you or your partner reaches the PONR, reduce the pressure, move away from the sensitive spots or stop moving entirely. You can also warn your partner, if he or she doesn’t sense you reaching your PONR. If your partner does know you, he or she will notice it though.
4) Enjoy the sensation, while you wait for your arousal to temper. Breath slowly and inhale deep.
5) When the feeling of an approaching orgasm has faded, start again with stimulating (step 2).
6) After 20 minutes there are two things you can do: stop, get dressed and do something completely different, or allow yourself or yoiur partner to reach orgasm.
Edging can be played in a game of ‘truth or dare’ or ‘mind play’. Give each other assignments (in a distance) to edge before you will meet. This could go on for days.
Over time, you will start to notice you will get better at noticing and controlling your orgasm. Sometimes you might accidentally come though. No problem. Tomorrow is another day.