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You bought ‘the best’ sex toy and yet you are disappointed?

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How can it be that you have bought the very best sex toy and yet you are disappointed? Well, it’s not that surprising. I know that feeling all too well.

If you regularly read reviews of sex toys, you know them; those sex toys that everyone raves about, like the Njoy Pure Wand, the Womanizer, the Magic Wand, or the We-Vibe Chorus. They’re often not the cheapest toys either. So you decide to save up for a while to buy one of these as best-tested toys.

But then it turns out they don’t work for you. That amazing orgasm that was promised fails to materialise. Despite all your research and investment in the best device, you are simply disappointed. Soon you draw the conclusion that something must be wrong with you if everyone else is succeeding.

So what is going on?

It’s not your fault!

First of all: it’s not your fault. Bear in mind that reviewers test a lot of sex toys and thus come into contact with toys more than average. Someone who drives Mercedeses and Ferraris all day might not be so impressed by a Kia. But for someone looking for a shopping car, and Ferrari is just not very convenient!

Besides, everyone’s body is different.  Some like hard and others like tender. Some like penetration, others more like external stimulation. In short, the fact that ‘the very best sex toy’ doesn’t work for you only means that you disagree with the opinion of one (or more) reviewer(s).

And precisely because you are unique, it may very well be that your tastes are different from those of the mob. And that’s okay.

I’ve been there too

If – like me – you get to test sex toys with some regularity, you sometimes find that you completely disagree with what other reviewers have written. For instance, I am totally unimpressed with certain air-pressure machines (clitoral suckers), and some wand vibrators don’t do it for me at all either.

Experience makes you wiser

As with everything in life, every experience makes you wiser. Are the vibrations too shallow? Then you know you need to look for deeper resonating (rumbly) vibrations. For example, I myself do not like pointed vibrators that offer very precise stimulation at all. I prefer a vibrator that is wider and covers a larger area. I’ve only been able to figure that out through and few misbuys in the past.

There is no such thing as the best sex toy

The ‘very best sex toy’ does not exist. Of course there is a difference in quality in certain categories, but precisely because everyone’s preferences differ, one toy will work for another, but not for you.

What can you do to avoid disappointment?

There are several ways to avoid disappointing a purchase. If you have infinite money, then you can simply buy different toys often to discover what works best for you. But unfortunately, few people have an infinite amount of money.

Therefore, you can keep the following in mind:

A. Know what you are looking for: Think carefully about what you expect from a sex toy. What do you like when you masturbate or when you have sex with a partner? Do you like penetration, do you like oral sex, do you like hard sex or tender touch? Try to translate that into the requirements for your new purchase.

B. When you read a review, try to read between the lines to see if the author likes the same or similar things than you do.

C. Read several different reviews. Don’t rely on the first best review (unless you are sure you have the same taste as the author). Sometimes you can tell from subtle differences in the review whether something works for you or not.

D. Don’t go for a cheap alternative. If you think a particular toy is really for you, don’t go looking for a similar toy of a lower price. Often the motor or material of such ‘fake’ products is really many times worse.

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Marc van Lier
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Marc van Lier
As multi faceted as a Rubik's Cube. Wants to have a day off after every holliday. Has a bucket list that is smaller than his fucket list.
Marc van Lier
Volg me
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19 September 2022 Marc van Lier 40

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