The short explanation is that a cuckquean is the female version of a cuckold. A woman who watches her husband commit adultery. But because that is very short-sighted, I go a little deeper into this very special fetish below.
Similarities and differences between the cuckold and the cucquean
The word “cuckold” comes from the English cuckoo. The cuckoo lays her fertilized eggs in the nest of another bird and lets that bird do the breeding. In the English language, a cuckold is someone with an adulterous wife. The cuckold is a man who gets excited by his wife’s adultery, but the fetish goes further. The cuckold’s wife withholds sex from her own husband and humiliates him when he watches her share the bed with a (seemingly) more masculine man or men. Cuckolding is therefore a form of sadomasochism (SM) in which the woman has liberties that the man does not. In extreme cases, the man’s role in the relationship is reduced to a kind of “pet” or forced (bisexual) slave, while the woman has a new other man, with whom she has sex and sometimes even children as part of the humiliation of the (chronologically) first man.
And therein lies a bit of the difference with a cuckquean. Yes, the cuckquean allows her husband to have sex with other women and, yes, she gets sexually aroused by it too. But unlike the cuckold husband, submissiveness and sadomasochism are much less common. In fact, the cuckquean is one who plays an important role in finding a “suitable” other woman with whom her husband can have sex. She is complicit in the cheating. So where the cuckold husband is humiliated by his wife’s cheating, the cuckquean wife is actually ’empowered’ and at the helm.
Do cuckqueans really exist?
As with so many fetishes, kinks and sexual activities, it’s never that black and white. With cuckqueans, it’s just the same. There is a whole spectrum of variations. Each woman who identifies herself as a cuckquean will fill it out in her own individual way.
Of course, there are also cuckqueans who do have a masochistic streak and enjoy the humiliation of being forced to watch her husband have sex with another woman. But many cuckqueans are not masochistic at all. They are more likely to be voyeuristic and enjoy watching their husbands enjoy sex. They experience “compersion”; a kind of opposite of jealousy. A feeling often described by swingers. And then there are cuckqueans who are bisexual and long for a threesome. Others consider themselves polyamorists.
Precisely because of this broad spectrum of cuckqueans, you can say that they actually exist. Especially the latter variant, in which a woman who is in a heterosexual relationship has bisexual feelings and is voyeuristic, is not uncommon. The fact that a cuckquean has a mythical status may be more because it is not written or talked about as much.
Also, the cuckquean seems to be more of a fantasy of the man – who may like to cheat – than of the woman in the relationship. But this is certainly not always the case.
Why would you want to be a cuckquean?
Women who live a cuckquean lifestyle report that the blissful empathetic feeling they experience when they see their partner enjoying himself is addictive. Other women actually enjoy the experience of having a man who is sought after by other women. It gives them a sense of status or power (“he’s mine”).
Even jealousy can act as a positive mechanism. It reinforces the need to bond more deeply with your partner.
But it can also be as simple as experiencing it as a show; porn where your own partner plays a role. Just snuggling up with a bag of popcorn on your lap watching delicious sex.
Are you a cuckquean?
Do you recognize yourself in the description above? Then you may find it difficult and scary to talk about this with your partner. Still, expressing your fantasy is the first step. Especially if you really want to put your need into practice.
It is important to discuss with your partner what rules will apply if you are going to make the move. This way you can start with small steps. For example, go sit on a terrace and discuss other women. Which ones does he find attractive and why? What would you like to see him do with her? Also discuss what feelings that evokes in each other. This is a safe way to discover how you both look at this fetish, without it leading directly to physical contact.
Another way to discover your fetish is to watch cuckquean porn, or read erotic stories. What do you find exciting and what especially not? Preferably do this together, so you can discuss it openly.
The goal is to strengthen your relationship together and improve your sex life, not to jeopardize your relationship. So if one of you is not feeling up to it (for a while), that’s OK too. And that goes not only for your partner, but also for you. It’s not uncommon for the cuckquean’s partner to like it all just a little too much and get carried away with her fetish. Even then, it’s OK to be allowed to hit the pause button for a while.