Unicorns are mythical creatures. You hope to meet them one day, but they are shy, wild, extremely fast and difficult to tame. And when you do encounter one, they are gone before you can even ask yourself if that really happened. I’m not talking about a white horse with a horn on its head. I’m talking about the third person in a trio.

A threesome is the most cherished fantasy of both men and women

A threesome is high on the wish list of both men and women. Most people think there are two types of threesomes, but that is a persistent misconception. There are several variations imaginable in which men (M) and women (F) mix:

• FMF: two straight women and a man
• FFM: two bisexual women and a man
• MFM: two heterosexual men and a woman
• MMF: two bisexual men and one woman
• MMM: three men
• FFF: three women

Most trios take place between a couple who are in a relationship with each other and a third party. And there are more couples who want to do this and actually do this than you might think. But what about that third person? That already seems as much of an enigma as a unicorn.

The unicorn in a threesome

The unicorn in a threesome refers to the third person. Due to the popularity of threesomes with two women and a man, this is often a woman, but it can just as easily be a man. A unicorn is not easy to find, but when you do, it is magical! A good unicorn completes the menage a trois.

On the hunt for a unicorn

To meet a good unicorn, you have to go on a hunt. Couples who are looking for a third party for a threesome are therefore called Unicorn Hunters. Unicorn hunters are different from polyamorous couples who are looking for a second person in their lives. They are a couple who hunt for a (bisexual) person together, for an adventure. Outside of that adventure, there is little or no contact with the unicorn.

Unicorn hunters think that with a rather unknown or anonymous third person, you can prevent feelings of jealousy from arising. The unicorn is there only for pleasure and sex, almost like a sex toy. The unicorn is not expected to establish any kind of love relationship with the couple. He or she should disappear after sex as mysteriously as he or she came (no pun intended).

But the term unicorn says it all: finding a good unicorn is extremely difficult.

Where to find a unicorn?

Many couples never get around to it and that’s because it’s quite a hassle to find a unicorn. And that’s a shame, because a threesome can really be a lot of fun. At least, if you have found a good unicorn.

Communication

To know if you have found a real unicorn, and not a donkey, it is wise to first decide with your partner exactly what you want. A threesome where expectations and fantasies differ is asking for trouble. Are you looking for a man or a woman? Is there also a need for same-sex interaction, or not? Is kissing allowed? Penetrated? Anal? What do you understand by ‘safe’ (penetration with condom, but also oral)? Who can the man cum on? What do you do after the threesome? What positions do you fantasize about, is there also room for 1 on 1 with the unicorn by one of you (while the third one watches, or goes to the kitchen to get drinks), or is that out of the question? Should the unicorn quickly pack his/her bags to never see him/her again, or is it OK to still have contact?

What things would make you jealous? Speak up and prevent those situations from happening. Only if you know where your partner’s hard limits are, and the unicorn knows them too, can it be a successful threesome.

Unicorns live on the web

Unicorns are rare and shy. It’s easy to overlook them, but they exist. The best place to run into one is on the Internet (where else). There are even special meadows on the internet where unicorns tend to congregate. And some unicorns themselves are looking for hunters to be caught.

For example, there are special apps (like Feeld, formerly 3nder) where kinky couples with an open mind can be found. The downside is that the app does not have that many users in some countries. Other places are FetLife (a kind of Facebook for BDSM), or SDC (basically for couples looking for couples, but unicorns are also found).

In addition, you can also open a Twitter account as a couple, in which you explicitly state what you are looking for.

The bait

You catch more bees with honey. And if a fish doesn’t open its mouth, it can’t take a bite! And a unicorn? A unicorn has to be lured. Unicorn hunters have to set themselves up as bait. That a threesome is attractive to you as a couple is obvious. But what do you have to offer the unicorn? What does he or she get in return?

Make a good impression and be clear in what you are looking for and what you expect, as well as what the unicorn gets in return.

Boundaries

As a couple, you have clearly talked to each other beforehand about the hard boundaries; what is allowed and what is not allowed. If you have found a unicorn it is time to present those hard boundaries. The unicorn needs to know what is and is not allowed and what you expect to happen.

Are you also looking for bisexual activity? Are there any positions you would like to try? Are there things that are absolutely non-negotiable? What do you do after sex? Is it a one-night-sex thing? Can the unicorn stay over? Do you also want something with bondage or BDSM (if so, agree on a safeword)? And what about sex toys?

Does the unicorn perhaps have boundaries of its own?

The unicorn is and always will be a flesh and blood person. Therefore, treat him or her nicely and politely and not as a disposable object, even if it is something one-time-only. The unicorn is not only there for your enjoyment, but also wants to enjoy the threesome him or herself.

Respect the unicorn and the boundaries he or she has. Also, focus on pleasure of this person. Indulge the unicorn along with your partner and help the unicorn to climax as well (preferably more than once). This may sound logical, but some individuals or couples think that the unicorn is only there to spoil them.

It’s also not such a crazy idea to thank the unicorn for the fun adventure.

With the right approach, it can be an unforgettable experience. Perhaps the most enjoyable of your life.

Happy hunting!