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Top 10 household products used during sex that ended at the ER

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spoedeisende hulp

People are creative and resourceful. Even – or perhaps particularly – when it comes to sex. We use all kinds of household products or kitchen appliances during sex. This may not always be such a good idea, according to research that was done by escort agency xstacy.

Redditt and NHS

The agency analysed data from the British NHS (National Health Service). This showed that of the 24 million people that visited the ER in 2018, no less than 3.5 million suffered from ‘intimate injuries’. Combined with a number of Reddit threads from doctors and nurses on the subject of objects that had to be removed from vaginas and anuses, xstacy believes it has produced a list of the most common objects that have led to a trip to the ER:

  1. Computer chair: Those wheels make it a lot less stable.
  2. Bowling pin: Who keeps those at home?
  3. Lava lamp: Leftover from the seventies, I guess?
  4. Toilet brush: I hope it wasn’t a used one?
  5. Jalapenos: Really?
  6. Bicycle pump: **face palm**
  7. Shower head: Not a rain shower apparently
  8. Candlestick: Without burning candle.
  9. Crunch bar: Sex with Umpa Lumpa?
  10. Soy sauce: You want some pawn crackers with that?

Sex that ends at the ER is never any fun. Most common injuries were popped blood vessels, broken/fractured penis, lost condom, Anal fissure, vaginal tears, foreign objects in the vagina (or anus), food irritation, broken bones, head trauma and lacerations.

Perhaps it isn’t such a bad idea after all to just buy an actual sex toy. Really, it doesn’t have to be expensive.

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Marc van Lier
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Marc van Lier
As multi faceted as a Rubik's Cube. Wants to have a day off after every holliday. Has a bucket list that is smaller than his fucket list.
Marc van Lier
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