The great thing of editors meetings here on NBRplaza, is that sometimes new and refreshing ideas come up. As most of these meetings are very playful to start with, we dare each other every so often. The other day we talked about, how oral sex with a mouth full of champagne or hot tea can bring great joy to the receiving party. But now we wondered how it would feel if a man would get a blowjob while the woman doing it was having toothpaste in her mouth. Time for empirical research.

What manufacturers say

It may not surprise you that the websites of toothpaste manufacturers have no information about the use of their product, other then the daily cleansing of your teeth. Let alone that they reference the use of their product on male or female genitals. Even the Dutch Ministry of Health has no information about it on their website. Procter & Gamble (manufacturer of Oral B) answered us in an email:

Unfortunately, we cannot tell you if it is dangerous. We developed our toothpaste for use in the mouth, during tooth brushing and we only tested it extensively for the safety during this purpose. We strongly discourage you to use toothpaste in this way. 

We assume they at least had some fun answering our questions, at P&G. Customer Service of Colgate Palmolive isn’t able to shed some more light:

Toothpaste is specially designed for optimal hygiene to keep teeth, oral mucous membranes and tongue clean and healthy. 

They don’t even dare to use the word sex.

Self test

Time to take matters in our own hands. First solo. A male editor decides to use a bit of toothpaste during masturbation. He used Aquafresh White & Shine (cleans the teeth, and the micro pearl formula also makes them shine and smooth within a week). A female editor chose Paradontax (active for irritated gums).

Male “I did a small bit (the amount you put on an electrical toothbrush) on my hands and spread that on my hands by rubbing them together. Then I massaged it onto my penis and testicles. The first couple of seconds it was a fresh feeling. I had used shaving foam before and it felt the same: nice. But then it started to burn, but with a refreshing cold sensation. Like I was stabbed by 6,000 ice cold needles. Still, it was really great to jerk off with toothpaste. The burning sensation lasted a long while, even after I tried washing it off under the shower. I can imagine that for some men, this is way to heavy.”

She: “Fortunately I was warned by the other editor, so I took just a tiny bit of Paradontax on the tip of my finger and applied that on my clitoris. After just a few seconds I felt a terrible burning sensation on the edge of painful, but at the same time so exciting that I had an orgasm in just a few moments. I had used Durex lube with a tingling sensation, but that didn’t do it for me. This was a thousand times more intense!”

Difference in brands?

After this first test, it was time to use different brands. The man used Pearl Drops and the woman Oral B Pro Expert. Although there is a distinct difference when brushing your teeth, both test subjects didn’t notice much difference on the genitals.

Anal and vaginal

The next step was of course applying it internally. The man decided to take it to the next level and applied some around and in his anus, while the woman smeared it on her G-spot. They both agree: The tingling sensation is both intense, on th eedge of painful, but extremely hot.

Tooth brushes

Yet another step in the use of oral care for the sake of sex: stimulating with tooth brushes. Our editors agreed that the brushes are generally hard. And you have to remind yourself that you have to use them to clean your teeth at any given point.

Recommendation

In essence you use a means that contains menthol and other refreshing constituents.These ingredients are lightly irritating to the skin. This causes a sensation that some may find painful, and others may find pleasurable. If the sensation is of short-lived, there’s not much wrong. But, if you would expose the skin to these extreme sensation for a longer period of time, you might get an irritated skin (and even de-skinning, we heard). In that case, you run the risk of inflammation.

For men and women that are not into extreme sensations, we do not recommend applying toothpaste on your intimate parts. An alternative is to brush your teeth and then satisfy your partner orally with a fresh breath. If you don’t like to leave the bedroom to brush your teeth, have a mint in your mouth. On the other hand, if toothpaste isn’t intense enough (which we hardly can imagine) go for tiger balsem or wasabi (at your own risk).

Don’t do this on a daily bases, but use toothpaste as an extra stimulant on ‘Sundays and public holidays’.

Is toothpaste good for anything?

Some boys suffer from penile papules (PPP) or corona divina. That are small tallow bumps on the penis and under the edge of the penis. These are not genital warts. They produce some kind of grease and prevent the skin from drying. It is possible to remove these with laser treatment, but it seems that toothpaste has a hydrating effect that will decrease those bumps. Our advice: use toothpaste in small amounts and in a low frequency. Rather talk to your GP (he has seen stranger things).

Contraceptive

As a disclaimer: There seems to be a strong misunderstanding about the use of toothpaste as a contraceptive. Let’s be very clear about this: that doesn’t work! Use a condom to protect you against STDs and the pil against unwanted pregnancies.