So you want to buy your very first sex toy? Awesome! Sex is fun and with a good sex toy you can make your sex life even more fun. But then comes the hard part; the variety is so terribly large that you probably don’t know where to start. What should you pay attention to when buying your first sex toy? Below we explain everything you need to know before buying your first sex toy.
Let’s just say you’re going to buy a food processor. Or a laptop. The first thing you do is think about what you want to use it for. Buying a sex toy is no different. The question you should ask yourself with every purchase is: Suppose this purchase were a new employee of mine, what position would it have? In other words, in Business terms: What is the Job To Be Done?
Perhaps the best tip I can give you is that you should first think carefully about what you like. How do you prefer to masturbate? Do you like gentle caressing of your clitoris or deep penetration? Would you prefer to be satisfied orally, or do you want to experience brute force? Do you want a sex toy just for you, or do you want to use it with your partner?
What should you pay attention to?
Anyone who asks what to look for when purchasing a sex toy always gets the same answer from me:
- It must be hygienic and safe. This means that the material must not be porous and that the toy must be made of body-safe material. Silicone toys are always a safe choice. But also glass or metal. Avoid toys made from jelly, because that material is carcinogenic. In addition, it must have a safe design and be easy to clean.
- The shape and design should appeal to you and suit your needs. Do you opt for a realistic appearance, or do you prefer a more imaginative design?
Whatever you do, never buy a ‘funny’ vibrator that looks like a rubber duck, or a corn on the cob. Toys like that are nice to give as a gift at a bachelor party, but are usually not suitable for real good sex.
- It is an absolute advantage if the toy is 100% waterproof. Not only can you play with it in the shower or bath, but it often also means that it is easier to clean.
- Operation should be extremely simple and intuitive. Often you cannot read that well from a description in a (web) store. So read reviews or go to a brick-and-mortar store and try out the toy (against the tip of your nose – but seriously!). Some toys can also be controlled via an app on your smartphone.
- The motor (if applicable) must be as quiet as possible and preferably (continuously) adjustable. Patterns are fun, but certainly not a requirement.
- It has to do what it’s meant for, and that is to make for better sex! An orgasm is not even a requirement (think of handcuffs or a whip).
- Whether the toy is rechargeable, works on batteries, or on the mains is highly dependent on use (frequency and duration). Do you use it spontaneously, but not frequently and then very briefly, or on a daily basis and for a very long time? Whatever you choose, charging should be super easy!
- Expensive sex toys aren’t always better than cheap ones, but the maxim is that you can’t buy a Mercedes for the price of a Skoda. For a first vibrator, a budget between € 30 and € 60 is fine, but really great and high-quality vibrators cost between € 100 and € 150.
Stimulating the clitoris
Most women are most likely to orgasm when the clitoris is stimulated. If you don’t cum easily through stimulation of your (own) hand, or through (oral) sex with your partner, a sex toy can really make the difference!
Bullet vibrators are always a good choice for a first vibrator. Especially if you are looking for a small, discreet and effective toy. A bullet is especially nice if you want to masturbate quickly, but they are also perfect to use with your partner if you want to ‘extra stimulate’ yourself. They are lightweight and therefore very easy to use. The price can vary from € 5 to € 130. So there is one for everyone’s budget. Bullet vibrators are too small for penetration. Because they are so small, so they often have only a small motor that does not vibrate very powerfully.
If you really want an orgasm guarantee, and you like oral sex, then an air pressure toy is an excellent choice. These toys are specially designed to suck on the clitoris. Womanizer initially advertised that they gave an orgasm guarantee. And indeed. They are so effective that some women complain that they cum too quickly. Due to the enormous popularity, there is now a whole range of air pressure toys available, ranging in price from € 20 to € 200.
Is this all too soft for you and are you looking for something more extreme? A toy with the most violent vibrations that exist? In 1968 Hitachi released their now legendary Magic Wand. It was intended as a massage device, but during the sexual revolution it was soon discovered what this thing had to offer. Since then, wand vibrators have become an institution and are known as the most powerful vibrators with the deepest vibrations. The Magic Wand has often been counterfeited and I dare say that some of these copies are now better than the original. My absolute favorite is the LELO Smart Wand Large!
Those who like vaginal penetration can choose from vibrating and non-vibrating toys. When it comes to the penetration and the feeling of being ‘stuffed’, it is often not necessary – and sometimes downright annoying – when the toy vibrates. Fortunately, there are great dildos for sale of all kinds of materials and in all kinds of price ranges.
Dildos made of metal or glass are ideal, because they are not only nice and heavy (believe me: you want that!), But they are also suitable for use cooled or heated (temperature play). Furthermore, these types of dildos are very nice to see and are very easy to clean. Silicone dildos feel softer. When purchasing a dildo, pay attention not only to the material, but also to the shape. A curvature is ergonomic, ridges provide extra stimulation during thrusting movements and a bulge at the top provides extra stimulation of the G-spot.
If you want vibrations, the offer is overwhelming. The classic vibrator has undergone enormous development in recent years. And that can be seen in design and functionality. You can use these types of vibrators in many different ways: only externally, as a dildo (with the motor switched off), or for penetration and stimulation of the G-spot. With these types of toys, make sure that you choose a safe material (for example, silicone), a powerful motor and simple operation.
A so-called ‘rabbit‘ is the first vibrator to buy for many women. And that’s perhaps due to the media hype in television shows and talk shows. A rabbit consists of two arms that are intended to stimulate the clitoris and the vagina simultaneously. Many rabbits also have other moving parts, such as beads and rotating rings, and some even have a third arm for anal stimulation. I myself am not a big fan of this type of toys. It depends on whether the shape fits your body (for example, the distance between your vagina and your clitoris). Moreover, if you like thrusting movements, the rabbit is not the most obvious choice either.
Together with a partner
Actually, you can of course use all sex toys together with a partner! But some are designed specifically for it. These kinds of toys are also called ‘couples vibrator’. They are mainly aimed at couples consisting of a man and a woman. The term ‘couples vibrator’ is a collective name for all kinds of vibrators that you can use together. The most famous are the ‘U’ shaped vibrators, part of which goes into the vagina and vibrates against the G-spot and the penis during intercourse. The other part then stimulates the clitoris. Strictly speaking, vibrating cock rings are also couple vibrators. And there are special couples vibrators that, for example, make the penis vibrate.
Also fun to use with your partner are remote controlled toys. Think for example of vibrating panties or vibrating eggs. The idea is that you wear such a vibrator in your panties or in your vagina and that your partner has control over the intensity of the vibrations. You understand that this is especially exciting when you use something like this when you go shopping, or go out to a club, restaurant or cinema. Some of these toys come with a small remote control and others you can control with an app on your smartphone. The advantage of the latter is that you can do that even if you are on opposite sides of the world.
Don’t forget the nipples
Nipple clamps and nipple jewelry are more popular than ever. Women (and more and more men) seem to embrace the idea of experiencing ‘good pain’. Most nipple clamps bark harder than they bite. They look downright painful at times, but most feel like a slightly squeezing warm tingling sensation. Wearing nipple clamps makes many people more sensitive in other places on their body. Moreover, they look more like a piece of jewelry than a torture tool, which means they appeal to a wide target group. The purpose of wearing a nipple clamp is to experience a mild pain.
For the penis
Sometimes it seems that sex toys are almost always designed for women. But what about if you have a penis? Sex toys are for everyone, regardless of anatomy or gender. So luckily there are also sex toys that you can use if you have a penis. These are often so-called ‘sleeves’ that go around the penis and that you have to move up and down by hand. Others also have a motor for extra vibrating stimulation. They differ in material, opening and structure on the inside.
The anus is ‘forbidden access’ for many people, but an exciting area for others (perhaps for that same reason). Always make sure to use a toy that is specifically designed for anal use. Such toys have a flared base, so they cannot accidentally disappear into you. For butt plugs always use a lubricant that has been specially developed for anal use. Be cautious about the size when buying an anal toy. They always feel a lot bigger than they seem when you only hold them in your hand. Butt plugs are available in various sizes and materials.
For men there are special anal toys, which are intended to massage their prostate. The prostate is for men, what the G-spot is for women. Stimulating the prostate in the right way is not only very tasty, but also healthy. The prostate is a walnut-sized gland. It is at the “root” of the penis, just below the bladder. In order to massage the prostate, you will have to do it through the rectum (your anus). By massaging the prostate while jerking off, fucking or sucking, some men have an overwhelming orgasm. There are several massagers in circulation that are specially designed to stimulate the prostate.
Don’t forget lube!
Many people mistakenly believe that lubricant is only intended for people who suffer from vaginal dryness. Lube can make sex more comfortable and enjoyable for everyone. And that is especially true if you use a sex toy. Therefore ALWAYS buy a lubricant if you buy a vibrator, dildo, butt plug or masturbator. The rule of thumb is that, to be on the safe side, you should choose a water-based lubricant if your toy is made of silicone.
There is more … so much more
Of course, there is much more for sale in the field of sex toys. Think of handcuffs, whips, strap-on dildos, anal beads, cock rings, massage oil, SM articles, and so on.
It is always advisable to orient yourself well first; what is out there? What should you pay attention to? What do reviews say? If you nevertheless have a question and want my honest opinion, do not hesitate to leave a message or send a mail.
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