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Spooning: the underestimated position

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spooningDifferent surveys (Esquire, Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan) show that this is about the top 10 of most favorable positions we love to have sex in:

  1. Missionary position (him on top): The missionary position is the name of the sex position where the woman lies on her back and the man lays on top of her, with the heads on the same side. It is by far the most used position in the Western world. 
  2. Doggy style: Romans called this position ‘coïtus more ferandum’, or ‘sex like animals’. This is the position (and all of its variants) where she sits on all fours and he is positioned behind her.
  3. Cowgirl (she on top, facing each other): In this position she straddles him like a true rodeo rider. This is most favorite for men (because visual persons), but also for women (because more control).
  4. Reversed Cowgirl (she on top, facing other way): This is some sort of reversed doggy style and reversed cowgirl. It combines the benefits of both these positions.
  5. Standing up: For the athletes. Exhausting, but very hot. Especially done in (public) toilets of local bars, as a quicky in the alley.
  6. Spooning: Like two spoons in the cutlery drawer. He lays behind her (see below).
  7. Sitting: He sits on a chair and she straddles him on his lap, facing him.
  8. Fusion/spider: This is an advanced position. She sitis on his lap, facing him, but leans backwards and positions her legs over his shoulders. Lot’s of freedom for her, but very exhausting too.
  9. Position X or T: He lays on his side and she puts her legs over his waist, so both partners are in 90 degrees.
  10. Scissors: favorite for many lesbian couples, but also great for heteros.
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Positions 1 to 4 together, are good for 90%. That means that these positions are favorite for almost 90% of all men and women. Only a meager 4% says they prefer spooning. And, well, that is a shame.

Why spooning?

When spooning, mand and woman lay on their sides. Man behind woman. She tilts her pelvis and he penetrates her from behind. This position thanks its name on the way spoons are laying in the cutlery drawer. It has several benefits:

  • It is least exhausting. Because both partners are laying on their sides, it is a position that is easy to keep doing for a long time.
  • You don’t feel the weight of your partner. In positions where one is on top, the weight of your partner can be too heavy. Especially when the person on top is a bit on the heavy side.
  • The woman has control over how deep he penetrates, by pulling up her legs or stretching them.
  • He can put his arms around her. With the lower arm, he can embrace her, while with the upper arm he has enough room  to caress her, pull her hair, spank her, or (important) stimulate her clit.
  • Because the woman has her legs ‘closed’, she will feel more friction.
  • The woman has her hands free to touch herself, or reach behind her and dictate the pace. She might also give directions to his hands to where she wants to get touched.
  • This position is very suitable for rough sex, as well as for tender and slow sex.
  • It is a good position for anal sex.
  • It is a great position for wake up sex. Just get close, and … go! Or right before you go to sleep. Of in the middle of the night when you have went to sleep like this.
  • It is also a great position during pregnancy. For her, lying on her side is better, because her belly won’t be in the way.
  • Finally, it is a great position for people who are generally tired (no excuses!), those with sore muscles, back pain, or elderly couples.

In short: it should be the favorite position for everybody!

So, why not?

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The reason spooning scores so low, is because – like any other position – it has some disadvantages too.

  • You can’t face each other and kissing is difficult.
  • The man can’t see much (unless h likes shoulders). Contrary to other positions (like doggy style or cowgirl).
  • Both partners must have about the same body type. If she has very wide hips, and he very small ones, it will be quite a challenge to penetrate (unless he is really well hung).
  • The lower arm might fall asleep, or be just plain in the way.
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Marc van Lier
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Marc van Lier
As multi faceted as a Rubik's Cube. Wants to have a day off after every holliday. Has a bucket list that is smaller than his fucket list.
Marc van Lier
Volg me
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