Have you resolved to eat less, exercise more and quit smoking? If so, you’re probably not the only one. Yet it is striking that in the top 10 good intentions (Dutch), none of them focus on sex. And yes, we think that’s a shame. Because a good and healthy sex life contributes to your overall well-being. Reconsider your good intentions based on our sexy suggestions.
Sex is more than just sex
The definition of what is considered sex, differs from person to person. IN its most narrow description it is limited to the deed of fornication. Fucking, so to speak. But sex is so much more than that. People who let go of that narrow definition, don’t make the the distinction between foreplay and sex. And research shows that the more different things people do when having sex, the higher chances are they orgasm. So, yes, variety is also the spice of your sex life. There’s even a name for that, and it’s called ‘het Coolidge effect‘ (Dutch). A varied sex life doesn’t mean having sex with lots of different partners. It is all about doing many different and especially varied things, as opposed to the same routine every time. Alternate manual, oral and penetrative sex more often. Interrupt penetration for oral sex. Change positions. Do it on different locations. Send your partner naughty messages. Try a role playing game and push boundaries.
Make some noise
People who are more vocal during sex, are more satisfied about their sex life. Moaning is a very good way to make clear to your partner, that you like what is going on. This will enable your partner to understand what you like and give you much more from that. On top of that, these noises are some kind of gratification or reward for your partner and it will often increase arousal for your partner.
Use more lube
Many people believe that personal lube only exists for problem situation. Of course, lube does come in handy when you don’t get wet enough. Or for anal sex. But lube can enhance the fun in many different situations as well. It will prevent you from getting scaly and it will decrease friction. That makes lube great for manual sex (jerking off, fingering). And lube with warming or cooling effects can help to close the orgasm gap. When you orgasm more quickly than your partner, help him or her by applying a stimulating lube.
Experiment with sex toys
Many people have a vibrator to enhance their sex life. Both men and women that use a vibrator on a regular basis, say it is actually a great addition to make their sex life even more satisfying. A vibrator or any other sex toy, will help breaking out of a boring routine and make sex less predictable in general. But maybe even more important, is that the mechanics of a vibrator can do things to you that is impossible to do with the human body. Fortunately, sex toys have become less ‘cheezy’ and there are many beautiful an stylish sex toys for sale.
TiO in stead of TiP
Often, there are thousands of reasons not to have sex. You have to get up early tomorrow morning, you are tired after a days working, you have a headache or stress and the kids could hear you. That is ‘Thinking in Problems’, or TiP. Try ‘Thinking in Opportunities’ (TiO) more often. Be aware of moments where you can have sex. That time window whre you have enough time and privacy for love making. Try sending each other naughty messages in the moments you cant have sex, or give each other meaningful looks. Be aware of locations where you might have sex. Touch each other casually. Basically, be sensitive for moments and opportunities to have sex.
Do you believe that masturbating is selfish? Perhaps you are right. Yet, 1 in 5 women say they have never (ever) masturbated and only little over 40% say they do it more often than once a month. Just consider that, the more you know about your own body – and what you do and don’t like – you will be better equipped to reach orgasm with a partner. And if you don’t have a partner (even if it is just for the moment), masturbating is a great way to orgasm.
Quality over quantity
Many people think they will be happier when they would have sex more often. But that is less likely than you might think. From different experiments by people who tried to have sex every day, it appeared to be counterproductive. People that had doubled the frequency in which they had sex, even say it had made them less happy. For them, sex had started to feel like a chore. That is why it is always better to focus on quality, in stead of trying to force to increase quantity.
To make anal sex enjoyable for all parties, you need lots of patience, communication and ‘slowing things down’. Even if the idea of anal sex is not appealing to you, these traits might sound good to you. On top of that, it is something new (see above). Devote lots of time to each other and try to turn each other on to the extend that (even) anal sex begins to become an attractive idea. Now, if that isn’t a great resolution for 2019?
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