A while ago, Satisfyer came up with a series of compact vibrators, which they labeled “for women”. That is not only not of this time, it is also simply not true. Because you can also use a lay on vibrator as a man, or if you do not want to identify yourself in one of these binary genders. Anyway, I (cis man) tested the Satisfyer Layons Dark Desire together with my partner (cis woman).

“Spoiler alert: Not bad at all!”

What is the Satisfyer Layons Dark Desire?

Do not confuse Layons with the river in France. At least, with ‘layons’ I suspect that Satisfyer rather means ‘lay-on’. And that is exactly what the Satisfyer Layons series is: lay on vibrators.

A lay on vibrator is a vibrating device that you use externally. Satisfyer has decided for you that you should keep him against the clitoris, but no-one will stop you from holding the thing against any other parts of your body. A nipple, labia, perineum, the frenulum … whatever turns you on!

The Dark Desire from the series is touted as a ‘powerful wizard’. Don’t ask me why. It reminds me most of a car key with which you can unlock your car remotely. But a little bigger.

Specs & functions of the Satisfyer Layons Dark Desire

The Dark Desire is covered with black body-friendly silicone. Because the thing is completely waterproof, you can simply immerse it. That is not only nice if you have planned a pampering moment in the bath, but also if you want to clean the device.

The Dark Desire is charged with a magnetic USB cable. It is fully charged in 3.5 hours.

There are only two “buttons” on this vibrator: + and -. This way you change the setting as you zap channels with your remote control. First you pass the ‘channels’ with constant vibrations and then there are different patterns.

Unboxing

All packages of the recent models of Satisfyer are fresh and modern. They have their own corporate identity that is recognizable by the color scheme (vintage pastel shades), the image of a smiling person and a full-size photograph of the device that is in it. Although they are not gender neutral in their targeting, they do show diversity with the people. I have to give them that.

The package also contains a user manual with clear pictograms, a charging cable and a booklet with safety instructions.

In short, all very well cared for. They’re getting there, the guys from Satisfyer.

The ‘test drive’

Right out of the box, the Satisfyer Layons Dark Desire was already charged and ready for use. See, we like that. Because who wants to wait 3.5 hours for the thing to charge up, before being able to play with it for 50 minutes?

To turn on the Dark Desire, hold down the + button for a few seconds. It starts in the middle of the constant vibrations. With the – button you make the thing vibrate less hard and with the plus you can take two more steps up. If you then press the +again, you will get to the patterns section, so to speak. I don’t know why Satisfyer says there are 15 positions, because I really only count about 10. The patterns all seem to vibrate at their loudest and you can’t turn that down.

The handy size of this vibrator can come in handy. For example if you like to always have a vibrator in your handbag. Note that when you walk back to your car, you should not try to use it to open your doors. You would look like such a dick in the parking lot at the office …

On the side of the Dark Desire that you press against the skin, the thing is slightly ribbed. The ridges, however, are very small and not necessarily perceptible.

The vibrations are pretty decent and not very deep. To make it more comfortable, it is best to use some water-based lubricant.

Due to the combination of the small round format, the small buttons, the lubricant and the vibrations, this thing is not really nice to hold. It slides in all directions. In the video above you can see that it is difficult for me to hold the thing with one hand. Not very handy. The sound is reasonable. Not very quiet, but not very loud either.

If you still manage to find the right setting and get it to the right place, you will eventually succeed in generating an orgasm. Due to the blunt shape, the thing is very suitable for indirect stimulation of the clitoris, or direct stimulation of the glans. You can also hold the thing well in your flat hand with a massage from your partner. That must be said.

Cleaning the Satisfyer Layons Dark Desire

I like toys that are waterproof, because you can simply clean them under the tap or in the bath. The challenge with the Dark Desire is that there are small ribs on the side that gets the most ‘dirty’. You can clean between the ridges with a washcloth. If you really want to be thorough, you can of course also use some mild soap or some toy cleaner.

Conclusion

Well, it is a bit in between. The vibrations are very decent, but the handling and holding while masturbating is not very convenient. For that reason alone, we are not very enthusiastic. The price and the performance are very reasonable.

We’ve also tested the little sister of the Satisafyer Layons Dark Desire: The Satisfyer Layons White Temptation. That one is much easier to handle, but has somewhat more superficial vibrations.

The PROS of the Satisfyer Layons Dark Desire:

• Beautiful modern and elegant design
• Small handy size
• Fairly deep vibrations
• Not very loud
• Soft body safe silicone
• 100% waterproof
• Magnetic charging
• Clear manual with icons
• Very reasonable price

The CONS:

• Not a good grip, certainly not in combination with lubricant (and you really want to use that)
• Patterns cannot be adjusted in strength
• Long charging time
• No storage bag

The Satisfyer Layons Dark Desire was provided to me by EasyToys for an honest review. It is available at EasyToys, bol.com or in our own shop.