When it comes to oral sex, the majority of men and women enjoy both giving and receiving it. Still, there are some significant differences between the sexes on the experience of oral sex. That can be concluded from our own research, conducted among 155 mostly heterosexual men and women.
Receiving and giving of oral sex
When asked how often respondents have received oral sex in the last six months, it appears that we have oral sex on a weekly (36,1%) to monthly (25,2%) basis. Women receive oral sex less frequent than men.
Respondents say they have received oral sex just slightly more often than they have given it. Respondents say they gave oral sex on a weekly (47,7%) to monthly (25,8%) basis.
It is striking that there seems to be correlation between the frequency in which oral sex is given and received. In other words, people that have given oral sex, have received it in more or less the same frequency. Of the respondents that have given oral seks on a weekly basis, 66,2% have also received it on a weekly basis. And of the respondents that give oral sex on a monthly basis, 62,5% have received on a monthly basis as well. There are no respondents that have not given oral sex, that have received it as frequent as daily or weekly. And the other way around, there are also no respondents that receive oral sex on a daily basis, but have not given oral sex at all. You might conclude that people give oral sex about as often as they receive it (or the other way around). There is not much difference between men and women on this point.
Oral sex as foreplay
Respondents receive oral sex mainly as foreplay without an orgasm (32,9%) or as a variety during sex (29%). When women receive oral sex during foreplay, it is more often with a happy ending than with men. No less than 40,5% of the female respondents say the last time they received oral sex, it was as foreplay including an orgasm (as opposed to 7,4% of male respondents). Men receive oral sex as a main course (including orgasm) slightly more often than women, but mainly as foreplay without orgasm (45,7%).
Giving oral sex is done mainly as foreplay (57%). When men give oral sex, it is mainly as foreplay including orgasm (39%), or as foreplay without orgasm (24,7%). Women that give oral sex, mainly do so as foreplay without orgasm (27%). About 10% of all men and women give oral sex during sex, as a snack in between sexual acts.
Oral sex comes after cuddling, kissing and manual sex
So, oral sex is mainly our ‘warming up’. But before we begin to have oral sex, we first cuddle, stroke and kiss our partners (32,26%). Also, we touch and fondle our partners with our hands (40%).
When we receive oral sex, men like to stimulate their partners simultaneously with their hands (44,4%). Women seem to like to be passive when they receive oral sex (35,1%, as opposed to 22,2% of the men). About one in five men and women give oral sex whilst receiving it at the same time, and are basically performing position 69. 18,9% of women play with themselves when they receive oral sex.
Although the majority of the respondents say they are heterosexual, it is striking to see that all of the bisexual and ‘other’ sexualities say the last time they had oral sex, it was with someone of the opposite sex. Even more interesting is that even from those that claim to be heterosexual man and women, 2,3% say the last time they had oral sex, was with someone of the opposite sex.
Not everyone enjoys oral sex
When asked ‘I like giving oral sex’, 98,8% of the men and 97,3% of the women say they agree. That is not really a significant difference. But that is not the case for receiving oral sex. Yes, of the men say they like receiving it, but ‘only’ 83,8% of the women agree.
When we zoom in to the women that say they don’t enjoy receiving oral sex, it is striking that all of these women do say they enjoy giving it.
When we have oral sex, 80% of the respondents say it is most important that the partner enjoys it. Men believe more often that it is important that their partner receive an orgasm (16%) than women (2,7%). None of the men said they found it important to receive an orgasm during oral sex.
About 18% of all men and women, say oral sex is just better than fucking. But the majority of both men and women believe oral sex should not be mandatory. 42% of the men and 48,7% of the women say they see it as a nice variety during sex. Men believe more often than women that oral sex should be part of foreplay.
We also asked what people enjoy when they receive oral sex. This gives a very divers picture. Both men (69,1%) and women (81,1%) say they like it when their partner also uses their hands during oral sex. Licking or touching the anus is enjoyed by men (54,3%) more often than by women (still 29,7%). Oral sex helps mostly to get aroused (48,6% of the women and 42% of the men) and it causes us to get into the mood to perform oral sex on our partners (56,8% of men and 29,7% of women). Man prefer more to be active when receiving oral sex (35,8%) than passive (29,6%). For women, this is the other way around (active 29,7 and passive 35,1%).
Most people don’t worry to much when they receive oral sex. Especially men (71,6%) say they have no insecurities and they just enjoy themselves. For women this percentage is significantly lower: 56,8%. Women worry mostly about their taste and smell/odor. Men worry more about their taste and if they will be able to orgasm.
When we give oral sex, we also do not worry much (67,1%). When men give oral sex, they worry if they will be able to give their partner an orgasm, or turn their partner on. Women worry more about the smell, taste or sanity of their partner.
About the research
The study was conducted by NBRplaza among the Dutch-speaking visitors of the blog. It ran from February 9, to February 15, 2018. The survey was filled out by 81 men and 74 women. The respondents were mainly heterosexual (92,6% of the men and 73% of the women). A small group was bisexual (6,2% of the men and 24,3% of the women). None of the respondents say they were homosexual and only 3 persons claim they have another sexual preference (pan- or asexual).
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