The missionary position is a name for the sex position where the woman lies on her back and the man is on top with their heads on the same side. It is by far the most commonly used position in the Western world. So you would assume that we know all about it. But do we? We at NBRplaza dived in and found out.
The numbers: how often we do it in the missionary position
In a 1948 survey by Alfred Kinsey, a whopping 91% of women indicated that the missionary position was the most common position. The remaining 9% of women at the time indicated that it was even the only position in which they had intercourse. We’ve since moved past that puritanical era, but several surveys show that the position’s popularity remains undiminished. About a third still prefer he-up-she-down, followed by Coitus a Tergo (doggy style) and cowgirl (woman on top) with a quarter of the votes each. The positions 69, spooning and reverse cowgirl split the remaining percent.
Origin of the term “missionary position”.
There are two explanations about the origin of the word missionary position. The most popular explanation is that missionaries who preached “the word” among peoples also promoted this position. They did not like the fact that the inatives preferred the animalistic doggy style position.
Another story goes that the position got its name from the lousy sexual performance of missionaries. The Christian version of sex made pagan peoples laugh.
In any case, it is clear that the term first surfaced in one of the Kinsey reports. Kinsey published a landmark study in 1948 entitled Sexual behavior in the human male. In that book he summarized another sexuological study from 1929 by the Polish anthropologist Bronislaw Malinowski entitled The sexual life of savages in north-western Melanesia.
Malinowski writes about a people, the Trobrianders, who sang songs at the full moon and mocked sex in which the man was on top and the woman below. According to these mock songs, this was boring sex like white traders, planters or officials did. Malinowski did not mention missionaries in this context. He does describe somewhere else in the book two Trobrianders walking hand in hand, leaning against each other. “I was immediately told,” Malinowski writes, “that this was a new way of doing things, which was contrary to the old customs, and that this was misinari si bubuneh, ‘as the missionaries do’. Immoral behavior that the missionaries had introduced.”
So according to Malinowski in 1929, “as the missionaries do it” was still walking hand in hand. But in 1948, Kinsey turned it into a sex stand, by making an incorrect summary of Malinowski’s study.
A salient detail is that the missionary position does not appear in the Kamasutra.
The technique of the missionary posture: pros and cons
It may be strange to explain such a popular position just yet. But there is more to it than just ‘woman-under-man-above’. It is a very intimate position because your bodies are all over each other. In addition, it is less tiring (especially for the woman) and it also provides many women with optimal friction of the cock against the labia and clitoris. If the woman raises her legs she has control over the depth of penetration. In addition, you can do it nicely under the covers (nice in winter) and you can keep optimal eye contact and kissing.
In short: easy, enjoyable and intimate. What more could you want? Well, for example this: From the missionary position, quite a few variations can be imagined with a few simple changes.
- Reach for the stars: if the woman places her hands against the headboard, she can counteract the swaying, creating even more friction.
- Eights: If he doesn’t just go in-and-out but turns “eights” with his hips, it creates a tantric-like movement that feels very pleasurable for both parties. This is also called Coital Alignment Technique (CAT).
- Over his arms: When he leans on his arms, he is not leaning on you with all his weight. This can be nice, especially if he is a lot heavier than you. But even if he doesn’t, he can place his hands behind your knees on the bed, which allows the woman to be penetrated more deeply and to make less effort to spread her legs far.
- Over the shoulders: You can go a step further if she raises her legs even further and puts them over his shoulders. This allows for the deepest penetration, stimulating not only her labia and clitoris, but also the cervix (which is very sensitive for some women).
- Over the edge: If she lies on her back but with her head over the edge (of the bed), the blood rises to her head. In her case, this can contribute to an even more intense orgasm.
- Hips up: Even though you’re lying under as a woman, that doesn’t mean you can’t or don’t have to move. Push your hips against him and set the rhythm.
- Flexibility required: As a woman, get on your knees and then lie back so that your heels stay under your buttocks. This makes your pelvis a little higher and allows him to penetrate deeply and because your pelvis is tilted a little, he can also hit your G-spot. If you’re not so limber, put a pillow under your pelvis. This is also a perfect position if you are trying to get pregnant, because the pelvis is tilted so that sperm can easily swim to the egg.
But there are also a host of drawbacks to this position:
- It is all very ‘neat’. Just the animalistic of ‘doggy style’ is missing.
- The man is dominant in this position. For many women, but certainly also for many men, it is pleasant if the woman has more control over what happens and at what speed.
- The man often rests on his hands or elbows (to reduce weight), but therefore does not have his hands free to stimulate the woman.
- The number of variations in movements is limited and before you know it, it becomes ‘straight up and down’.
- Men are stimulated optimally in this way, but that can also mean that he cums too fast or at least faster than the woman.
- It is a position that is almost or completely impossible during pregnancy.
- Motsutoys – Japanese sex toys for men, now also in Europe - 18 September 2024
- The Hottest videos: First threesome - 13 September 2024
- Body branding in a BDSM relationship - 12 September 2024
One thought on “Missionary position: Everything you need to know”