Most women menstruate for the last time between the ages of 40 and 60. On average, this is when they are 51 years old. One year after the last menstruation, you are officially in what is also called ‘menopause’. The period of several years before and after the last menstruation is called transition, which every vulva owner will have to go through once. During this period, the hormones seek a new balance. The duration of menopause is different in every woman. Typical of this period is that not only your body changes, but other important changes also take place. The children are leaving home, your parents require more care, and in your relationship you may also have entered a different phase. There are hormonal changes in your partner as well. In short, a period of many changes and emotions, which can also affect your sex life. And while hot flashes, mood swings and irregular menstruation have become much more discussable recently, sex life during and after menopause is little discussed.
Hormonal changes
Around age of 50, the production of the hormone estrogen changes. This causes you to menstruate more irregularly. When estrogen production has stopped completely, not only are you no longer fertile, but you will also not get wet as easily. The vaginal wall will become thinner and less elastic, which can make penetration more sensitive or even painful.
Kantar research shows that 51% of women say the physical side effects of menopause have affected their sex life. The psychological and emotional effects of menopause are also huge, with changes in desire, arousal, comfort and pleasure in sex. All in all, not the most enjoyable time.
Does the sex drive come back after menopause?
Some women say that their sex drive actually improved after menopause. There may be several reasons for this. For example, because there is less fear of pregnancy. Or because they have fewer worries and responsibilities in their new phase of life. These can all contribute to being able to relax better and enjoy intimacy more.
What can you do?
If you still want the desire and pleasure in sex back, there are a number of things you can do. First, it’s important to rediscover your body. Where do you still get aroused? Does it help to do foreplay longer or in a different way? Make a list of things that turn you on.
Don’t lose sight of intimacy. Physical contact without sex can keep you from growing emotionally apart. Make the changes in your needs known, too. Discuss why you feel less like it, or that you no longer like certain things. And discover together what you both do enjoy. Try a sensual massage with wonderful massage oil.
If penetration no longer feels comfortable, try other forms of sex. For example, focus ens on clitoral stimulation with the mouth, fingers or a tool such as an air pressure toy or an overlay vibrator.
Lube
If you suffer from vaginal dryness, a lubricant can work wonders. There are several lubricants on the market. The biggest distinction is whether the lubricant is water-based or silicone-based. Water-based lubricants are inexpensive and easy to clean, but get worn out faster. Also, water-based lubricant often contains ingredients (such as glycerin) to which some women are hypersensitive. Silicone-based lubricants are a bit more expensive and sometimes don’t go so well with silicone sex toys. On the other hand, they are thicker and you don’t have to apply them as often.
Therefore, use only a lubricant that clearly lists all the ingredients and avoid the ones mentioned above. However, the medical lubricants Pjur Med Premium Glide and Pjur Woman Aqua (water-based) are an excellent choice in this case.
There are also pills and vaginal creams that contain hormones and cause the vagina to become moist. These are available through your doctor or gynecologist.
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