Lubes are not very sexy. Many people still think that they are only for women with ‘problems’ and for gays. Obviously, lube provides with extra comfort, but it can also be a great sensual addition to your sex life.
A lube is a liquid that is being used while making love. Nowadays there are many lubricants for sale and they all have their own application. Some are purely meant to ease penetration, while others are designed to cause an extra stimulating excitement. And others can also be used as massage oil. But what is the best choice for you?
To start of with the obvious, if you are experiencing ‘problems’: lubricants can be godsend if your vagina doesn’t produce enough of its own. This may occur when you get older, or there are other health issues involved (e.g. using medicines). If the vagina is not wet enough, you may experience pain during sex. Also your vagina can get irritated if it is damaged by to much friction. By using a lube, the vagina will feel moist en penetration will become more smooth.
Some women also experience cramps in their pelvic muscles. This is called vaginism and in some cases this will make penetration extremely painful or even impossible. In that cases, lube can be a solution.
Sex should be something to enjoy and not something painful. If sex hurts, the negative association will soon tun into reluctance. Lube can make sex feel pleasurable again.
When you use a condom, a little bit of additional lube can make it feel better. Some condoms have been applied with lube already. Apply a drop of lube on the condom and / or on the vagina.
Make sure that you use a lube that is water based, or a silicone lube that explicitly mentions that it can be safely applied to condoms. If not, you run the risk of the condom becoming porous. It will tear more easily and is no longer safe against pregnancy or STDs.
Putting on a condom can also become easier with some lube. Apply a small drop on th einside. Not to much, or it will slide off.
What is the best lube for you?
Water based lube
Water based lube has a number of advantages. They are cheap, good for use with condoms and sex toys, and it is easy to clean. The disadvantage is that they dry quicker, which might force you to use a bit more. Water based lube is generally not meant to be used as massage oil.
Another disadvantage may be that most water based lubes contain glycerin. This is basically a form of sugar. As you might now, sugar can cause a yeast infection. There are exceptions, like Pjur Woman Nude. This is a water based lube without glycerin, perfume and oil.
Silicone based lube
Silicone based lubes are a little more expensive than water based lubes. They often are not recommended to use with sex toys that are made out of silicone. But the big advantage is that they are long lasting. With just a few drops, you can have lots of fun. They can also be applied for erotic massages. It will make your skin feel soft and sliky.
You can even use silicone based lube in the water, because it will not resolve. This is however also the big disadvantage. To remove silicone based lube, you will have to wash and rinse. And you better not spill it in the shower, because your floor will get slippery. Silicone based lube stains in your silk sheets, so don’t use your best linnen for your lover.
Silicone based lube can in most cases not be used with condoms, except when the package claims something else. But even when it claims you can, you might want to reconsider, because it still cannot be used with silicone sex toys. Fortunately, there are good silicone based lubes, specially designed for sex toys. For example Pjur Woman Toy Lube (specially made for sex toys) and Pjur Original (best sold lube in the world).
In case of irritations
If you suffer from sensitive and irritated mucosa, choose a good lubricant. Some lubricants contain many additives. If you are sensitive ‘down there’, it is better to avoid lubricants containing substances such as parabens, petrochemicals, benzene derivatives (such as sodium benzoate, methyl, ethyl and propyl paraben and benzoate soda), boric acid, salicylates and cinnamaldehyde (an ingredient used in ‘hot’ lubricants). Such additions can have an opposite effect and can cause irritation.
We recommend lubes that clearly mention all ingredients and avoid the ingrediets mentioned above. Medical lubes, such as Pjur Med Premium Glide and Pjur Woman Aqua (water based) or the well known KY Cream are best choices.
That little bit of extra
Now we’re getting to the fun part. Because lube doesn’t just slide well, it can also provide with that little bit of extra. Some lubes contain mentol, pepper, ginger, cocoa, or other additions, that offers a nice tingling sensation. Examples are aan Pjur Med Warming, Pure Med Energy, Durex Duo (a tingling and a warming).
Oral sex and Deep Throat
Lube and oral sex? Well yes. First of all it can occur that you applied lube on your genitals and or on your sex toys and that at some point you are going to perform oral sex. You might want to know if the lube tastes bad and if it is at all healthy to consume (silicone) lube? And if you are really going to go all the way and do a deep throat, you might want to be nice to your throat and use some lube.
Digesting little bits of lube is not harmful. You will probably only use a few drops, so you will never digest a lot of it. But there are alternatives.Several lubes have no additions, like Pure Nude. And there are lots of water based lubes with a taste, such as Durex Sweet Strawberry or Durex Pina Colada (you’ve gotta love it).
For anal sex, pegging or massaging his prostate, lube is extra important. The anus doesn’t produce lube of it’s own. Here you must give mother nature a helping hand. You can use all kind of lubes, but there are lubes specifically designed for anal use, like System JO, Male, or Pure Analyse Me (water based).
It’s not everybody’s cup of tea, fist fucking. We understand that. But if you are into it, then you must know that lubricant is an absolute necessity. And not just a drop or two. You do want to use loads of lube, so a small bottle will not be sufficient. There are special lubes for fisting, but why bother. As long as you use plenty. And then some.
Clean da shit up
Great stuff, that silicone based lube. But it’s also a bit of a mess. If you want to wash off silicone based lube, you must apply a reasonable amount of soap and water. And soap and vaginas aren’t the best of friends. Some soaps will affect the pH value of the vagina which in turn could lead to infections. If you are sensitive to infections, always use (vaginal) soap or washing emulsion in the correct pH-value, for example Pjur Med Clean Spray or Bodysol Intimate.
Tips ‘n trics
How do you prevent that it gets messy? And what if it does? Or that you have to touch things with slippery fingers? If that sounds familiar, try using a lube that comes with a pump, or a spray.
Don’t just use lube in the vagina. Also apply some on the labia. That makes the experience all the more enjoyable, softer and more sensual.
If you don;t have any lube and you get an unexpected visitor, you can also use coconut oil or olive oil. These are natural lubricants. Don’t use these in combination with condoms however. Never use motor oil, Vasiline or mineral oil (don’t laugh, if only you should know).
And if you still think “ah, I don’t need that. I’m all wet by myself!” Think again. Even if you have no problems in the self lubrication area, lubes are worth the try. Especially those that tingle or warm. It’s like when you go on a long trip with your car: Always check if you have enough oil!
Oh, and it also comes in handy to take of your wedding ring …