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How a remote-controlled butt plug changed the chess world forever

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The chess world erupted in anger when it was rumored that reigning world champion shaken – Magnus Carlsen – accused 19-year-old fellow grandmaster Hans Niemann of cheating through teledildonics. Carlsen believes Niemann used a remote-controlled anal bead to get instructions through while playing to make the best move. The instructions allegedly came from an unbeatable chess computer.

Anal beads to cheat at chess?

You can make any game more interesting by turning it into a sex variant. But it was not Hans Niemann’s intention to enjoy a game of chess in this way. After all, Hans Niemann was up against the world’s best chess player, Magnus Carlsen. After just one move, the 31-year-old Carlsen withdrew from the prestigious Sinquefield Cup tournament. Later, Carlsen said his competitor allegedly used vibrating anal beads. Apparently, this was not the first time Neimann had been at the center of a scandal. He had been caught before. Carlsen claims he wanted to make a statement by refusing to play.

Although Niemann has denied the allegations, the big question, of course, is it possible to use a vibrating anal sex toy?

What is teledildonics?

Usually, anal beads and buttplugs are used to stimulate the anus during sex. Especially vibrating or pulsating anal toys provide extra stimulation, depending on the shape and function. When sex toys can be controlled remotely, we refer to them as teledildonics. The toy has a bluetooth connection to the user’s smartphone. The smartphone is connected to the Internet. Through an app, control of the sex toy can be transferred to another user elsewhere in the world. This user has the same app and can thus control the intensity of the vibrations. Brands like We-Vibe and Lovense offer this feature. Another possibility is to connect two sex toys in this way, as Kiiroo does. For example, one user has a dildo with sensors and the other has a masturbator with sensors. The users can then experience each other’s movements.

You can use this technology in a variety of ways. For example, when you and your partner cannot be together due to whatever circumstances. But also by winding each other up in public. There are also models who give a performance in front of the webcam and let viewers operate a toy for a fee.

But how do you use that to cheat at chess?

Communicating through vibrations in your anus?

Many remote-controlled sex toys have a range of 10 to 30 meters. That means the toy has a bluetooth connection to a phone that may be outside the room where you are sitting. Or could be in the possession of someone nearby.

So in the case of the chess player, it could be that someone was in the audience – or at least must have been within a 30-meter radius – to transmit commands this way with vibrations. For example, consider the move – e4 to e5. This could be transmitted via vibrations by first vibrating five times for the letter ‘e’, then vibrating four times, then vibrating five times again (‘e’) and then vibrating five times.

Chess Federation’s countermeasures

So the idea is that Niemann had an accomplice with and chess computer. This person would then have to be in a radius of less than 30 meters and have a bluetooth connection to anal beads in Niemann’s anus. The accomplice could consult a chess computer for the best move.

Participants in this type of chess tournament are admittedly screened (similar to how you go through a scanner at an airport). Furthermore, the live ringing of the match is delayed by several minutes. Someone who would not be in the same room would be severely delayed as a result. Thus, they make a move known only after the next move has been made, to render the passing of information useless.

Only receiving instructions for a next move is possible only if the accomplice also has the opponent’s move. As a result, the cheating chess player should be able to send data even if the accomplice could not be in the same room.

Hans Niemann, meanwhile, has offered to play naked (and undergo an anal examination?). But, of course, you could turn it around. Perhaps chess could thus take on a whole new dimension, for example as foreplay. Or as a fun new activity in a couples club.

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Marc van Lier
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Marc van Lier
As multi faceted as a Rubik's Cube. Wants to have a day off after every holliday. Has a bucket list that is smaller than his fucket list.
Marc van Lier
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