Do you want to give someone a sex toy, for example, for the holidays or for his or her birthday? Then read this first.

SEX!

Exactly. When you give a sex toy, you’re talking about sex. And sex can embarrass some people. So you never just give a sex toy. You have to be sure that your surprise will be appreciated. Have you ever had a conversation about sex and sex toys? Can your gift not be misunderstood?

Great. Because giving (and receiving) a sex toy can be exciting in a fun way. Especially if it’s exactly what the other person wants, or needs. Remember that people are reluctant to buy sex toys for themselves. And often they do not want to spend a lot of money on them. Even if it would improve their sex life by leaps and bounds.

What giving a sex toy says

Giving a sex toy is unlike giving any other gift. It is intimate and it can encourage the receiving party to be more open to pleasure and relaxation.

Not everyone can give just anyone a sex toy. For example, it would be very inappropriate to give a colleague a dildo when you are standing with the whole department eating cake on her birthday. To give each other erotic gifts, you must have a certain intimate connection. A romantic relationship, for example. Or if you are each other’s “besties”.

Still, giving a vibrator or masturbator can be a great gift. It makes sex discussable and takes it out of the taboo zone.

What if you’re not an expert yourself?

Anyone can give a bunch of flowers. But if you are going to give a sex toy, it is still good to have a good understanding of what is available. Many people find it hard enough to buy a toy for themselves, let alone for someone else.

That’s why we list a few tips below that can help you find the right sex toy for your friend.

What does the recipient love?

Before you can start shopping, you should have some idea of what the receiving party can use or what he or she loves. There are literally thousands of toys for sale, so if you have no idea where to start it will be a difficult search.

Have you talked about sex toys with the person in question? Does that person already have sex toys, or will this be the first toy? Do you have any idea at all what that person’s desires are? Do you have an intimate relationship and have sex together (regularly)? Or are you giving it to a couple? Or to someone who is single?

If you know that the receiving party already has sex toys, what kind of toys are they? And how satisfied is he or she with them? Are they toys for penetration, or not? How does the person feel about pushing boundaries? Does the person like anal? Or BDSM?

In short, make sure you have a good understanding of what the other person wants. That will help narrow down your search.

If you’re not sure

If you know that a sex toy is going to be in favor, but you have no idea what to buy, opt for a classic. It may be less original, but with a good classic you can never go wrong.

Great classics are the Europe Magic Wand, the We Vibe Tango bullet vibrator, a Fleshlight masturbator, the LELO Gigi G-spot vibrator, or the metal Njoy Pure Wand dildo.

Give an upgrade

Maybe the person still has a corded wand vibrator. If so, it could use an update, in the form of a rechargeable wand vibrator. There are now many rechargeable wand vibrators, which are not inferior to the original. Our favorite is the LELO Smart Wand Large.

New versions of other sex toys are also regularly released, which are often better or more beautiful. Does your friend still have the original Womanizer? There are so many new versions now, which are really much nicer and better!

The first toy

If you’re sure the recipient doesn’t have a toy yet, and doesn’t have any experience with sex toys, that might require a little more thought.

First of all, you have to be sure that a gift like this will be appreciated. Has that person ever talked about it or fantasized about it? Even if you mean well, not everyone can appreciate it when you give them a sex toy out-of-the-blue.

However, if you have good reason to believe that things can’t go wrong, then we can only encourage you to come up with a good gift.

However, if you have good reason to believe that you can’t go wrong, then we can only encourage you to arrive with a good gift. For a first sex toy, go for quality. Don’t buy cheap junk, because the first experience can be important for the image the person will have about sex toys. Also, don’t go for extreme. Our favorite brands for a first sex toy are We Vibe, LELO, Fun Factory and Tenga. However, these are pretty pricey toys. An alternative brand with somewhat cheaper toys, which are not always inferior in quality, is Satisfyer.

And if you really don’t know, you can always opt for a gift set. There are several gift sets with different themes. Go for a luxurious gift set with tasteful packaging.

Shop together

Picking out and buying a sex toy is already part of the fun. It’s exciting to fantasize about what you could do with that toy while you’re shopping. Especially if you are going to buy a sex toy for your partner, or for you together, you can consider making the purchase an experience.

Go and browse the assortment of an online shop together, and talk to each other about what seems fun (and what doesn’t). Remember what your partner said and what toys he or she found exciting. Above all, ask questions like “what would you buy if money wasn’t an issue?” Or, “what would you absolutely want to have once?”. You can also do this a few weeks in advance, so that it still remains a surprise what you are going to give.

A toy for together? Or for yourself?

When you give a gift, ask yourself if it’s really a toy meant for the recipient. Or at least for the two of you together. Are you sure the gift isn’t secretly for yourself?

Ask yourself if the recipient would buy this toy themselves, and if that person would also use it on their own (without you). If not, choose something else.

What should the sex toy meet?

Anyone who asks what they should look for when buying a sex toy invariably gets the same answer from me:

• It must be hygienic and safe. That is, the material should not be porous and the toy should be made of body-safe material (not jelly). In addition, it should have a safe design and be easy to clean.
• The shape and design should appeal to you and fit your needs.
• It is an absolute advantage if the toy is 100% waterproof. Not only can you then play with it in the shower or bath, but often that means it’s easier to clean.
• Operation should be extremely simple and intuitive.
• The motor (if applicable) should be as noiseless as possible and preferably (infinitely) adjustable. Patterns are nice, but certainly not a requirement.
• It must do what it is intended to do, and that is provide better sex! An orgasm is not even a requirement for this (think handcuffs or a whip).
• Whether the toy is rechargeable, works on batteries, or on the mains depends very much on the use (frequency and duration). Do you use it spontaneously, but not frequently and then very briefly, or on the contrary daily and very long in a row? Whatever you choose, charging should be super easy!

Buy from a reliable address

Once you know what you want, buy your sex toy from a reliable party and from a brand that gets good reviews. Be careful of Chinese websites, which offer stuff much cheaper. Often these are counterfeit products, which do not have the desired quality.

Reliable webshops for sex toys are Bol.com, EasyToys, or our own NBRplaza webshop. These website have great customer service and return policies. Always check in advance what the return conditions are to avoid disappointment.

Do not forget the accessories

Make sure your gift is completely complete. For example, does it come with batteries? Many rechargeable toys have a USB charging cable. Does the receiving party have a USB plug?

Most sex toys require you to use lube, especially if it’s a toy you use internally. With a water-based lubricant you are always on the right track. Not all sex toys can be used with silicone-based lubricant.

TIP: Next to lube also give toy cleaner!

If you think the toy is definitely going to be liked and he, she or you want to try it right away, consider fully charging and cleaning the toy beforehand. You won’t be able to return the toy, but you can enjoy it right away. If the toy can be controlled with an app, install it in advance and make sure you test if it works. That way you can demonstrate it right after unpacking it.

The giving

OK, so you know what the recipient wants, you’ve picked it carefully, the battery is charged and the toy is cleaned. Now it just comes down to the giving.

First of all, you have to ask yourself at what time you are going to give it. It may not be a good idea to give a sex toy when uncles, aunts, grandmothers and grandfathers are present. Give the gift only when the setting and atmosphere is appropriate, for example when you are alone, or in an intimate setting with friends who are just as open-minded as you are.

Consider including a handwritten card. In it, you can give a hint of what’s in the gift and why you think it will make him or her very “happy”? Or you can turn it into a love letter, or – if you are intimate with each other – you can write an erotic story. In this way, the giving itself can also be part of the foreplay.

Even better is when you make giving an experience. This means that you make the giving something special. You can give massage oil just as a gift, but if you give it after you have made a hot bath for your partner and you suggest a body-to-body massage, then you are talking about an experience.

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