For a moment, my dyslexic brain thought this product was called “massage in a bottle,” which made me chuckle lightly. Nice thinking! When I looked again, the name really turned out to be ‘Message in a Bottle’ after all. Too bad, missed opportunity for a mechanical penis massage device, I’d say.

What is the Message in a Bottle by Gender X?

As mentioned, this is a mechanical massage device to stimulate the penis. The tube contains a soft sleeve that can mechanically thrust and rotate in seven different patterns. The turbo mode allows you – when you are almost there – to help yourself over the edge.

The word “message” in the name turns out to be really deliberate after all. In fact, you can plug in (included) headphones and then listen to two different audio tracks with porn sounds.

The tube is partially transparent so you can see your penis (or your partner’s, of course) being massaged.

In short, with much imagination, this is a bottle (because semi-transparent) with a message (because moaning through your headphones).

Specifications:

• Number of modes: 7 speeds and functions for twisting and thrusting and turbo mode for that last bit extra
• Controls: 4 buttons
• Material: ABS plastic tube, TPE sleeve
• Height: 31cm
• Diameter: 9cm
• Depth: 9cm
• Weight: about 900 grams
• Water resistance: Not waterproof (disassemble parts for cleaning)
• Rechargeable: USB cable included
• Additional: 2 audio tracks (earphones included) and suction cup for mounting on smooth surface

Unboxing

The box in which the Message in a Bottle comes is quite heavy and large. Not surprisingly, since this stroker weighs almost a whole kilo! Inside the box is the mechanical tube, the TPE sleeve, a suction cup, headphones, and a USB charging cord. Also included is a piece of paper not really worthy of the name “instruction manual”. For example, it does not say where to plug in the headphones, even though it is really not that obvious. It has to be inserted in the same hole as the charger, which is not what you would expect.

Oh, it also comes with a bill by the way that says you have a one-year warranty. Good to know.

The testdrive

I am fortunate to have had the opportunity to test many different mechanical masturbators or ‘strokers’ of this kind in my life. What is striking about this ‘Message in a Bottle’ is that the TPE-sleeve (the sleeve that massages your penis) is supplied loose. You snap that into the tube with 4 magnets. On the tube is a TPE entrance, which cannot be detached. The motor moves the TPE sleeve around your penis with twisting and bumping motions in different patterns. And through the part that is transparent you can indeed see the movement.

Stubborn as I am, I first tried the device without lube. I know, that’s against all my advice. But sometimes a man is impatient. You guessed it: bad idea. The motor of the Message in a Bottle is not strong enough to move without lube. The sleeve is too rigid and tight for that. A big blob of lube therefore brought the desired outcome.

The seven different patterns all seem to have something random about them. Turning. Punches. But all in an unpredictable pattern. Is that nice? Well, it’s kind of like having a partner who doesn’t know exactly what he or she is doing. On the one hand, that makes it a little frustrating for someone as impatient as me, but on the other hand, it’s kind of nice to “edge” with.

My biggest overall annoyance with mechanical masturbators is usually the noise. Now to be honest, that’s not too bad with this one, but still the pumping sound doesn’t have the same soothing effect as the monotonous hum of a vibrator. Perhaps that’s where the headphones idea comes from? Again, I’ve seen this before, and as with all previous cases, the audio functionality of Message in a Bottle leaves something to be desired. It is the sound of a man and a woman panting together. Why? So what are you trying to mimic? That you got into a group sex session?

Then there is also a suction cup in the box. I must say that I did not use it. After all, to properly secure the suction cup, you need a smooth, hard surface. The shower wall would be my first inspiration, were it not for the fact that the Message in a Bottle is not waterproof. The window? Nice for the neighbor across the street maybe, but thanks anyway. A table or desk then perhaps? That could be possible but none of the tables in the house were at the right height.

The controls are fairly simple. An on/off button, a button to switch between modes, the turbo button to finish and an audio button to start the sound. Below the control buttons is a little panel that changes color each time during use. I have no idea why you would want that. I just assume there was a nerd on the design team who wanted to show what he was all about. It wouldn’t have been necessary from me, that much is obvious.

But overall, was the Message in a Bottle experience enjoyable? Oh, yes. Did I cum? That too.

Cleaning

The Message in a Bottle is not waterproof. Fortunately, you can – or rather, must- disassemble the Message in a Bottle. You can rinse the transparent tube and the TPE inlet and the TPE sleeve under the tap.

By the way, that TPE inlet is attached to the semi-transparent tube, which seems to me to be a design flaw. In the few times I played with the thing, that almost broke already. It would have been better if you could take those two parts apart and reassemble them. Now that part is hard to clean and won’t be very durable.

Conclusion

The seven different patterns and the TPE sleeve are definitely a good invention. And all in all, the noise level in particular is not too bad. Forget the suction cup and headphones. Hold the thing yourself – or, even better, have your partner do so – and watch and listen to a good porn movie!

The PROS of the Message in a Bottle Stroker:

• Seven patterns that seem to have a will of their own (and yes, that’s actually a pro)
• Soft TPE sleeve with pleasant texture for delightful massage
• Easy operation
• Low-noise
• Reasonably discrete design

The CONS:

• Why on earth the audio feature?
• The way the TPE input is mounted does not seem very durable
• Not waterproof and thus cannot be used in the shower

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The Message in a Bottle was offered to me by EasyToys in exchange for an honest review. You can get this mechanical masturbator at EasyToys, on Bol.com or in our NBRplaza shop.