In many porn videos they play a leading role: fucking machines. But if you want to buy one yourself, you will enter a strange jungle with devices that vary in price from three tenners to three grands. And yet such a mechanical friend can be an asset.
There are a number of different categories of fucking machines, each with its own characteristics and quirks. Let’s go through them one by one.
Fucking machines
The fucking machines among the fucking machines are devices with a considerable torque, due to the rotating mechanism. That is exactly what makes these kinds of things so unique. Most of these machines can be adjusted continuously and can make 100 to 300 punches per minute! Get one that is stable enough to remain stable even with these brute forces. However, they are not cheap. Depicted is the Versa Fuk Sex Machine. A good alternative is the Gigolo, which works with the so-called Vac-u-Lock system. As a result, you can put all dildos with this system on the mechanical arm.
Saddles
A saddle-type fuck machine is a device that you sit astride on. These fucking machines are best known for Howard Stern who had Carmen Electra cum on the Sybian in his studio in his radio program. What Hitachi is to wand vibrators, the Sybian is to saddles, but there are many good other brands for sale on the Dutch market. Actually, a saddle is little more than a seat with a very powerful vibrator. Often there is also a part on the seat that stimulates the clitoris. What more do you need? Pictured is the Saddle Deluxe.
There are also cheaper variants of around € 200. These are often a kind of pouf or pillow where you can put a dildo or a vibrator. Sometimes they are included, but not always (so pay attention to that). Cheaper saddles are for example the Louisiana Lounger, the Rotating G and P-spot machine, or the Love Machine.
Rockin’ chairs
A variation on the saddles are so-called ‘rockin’ chairs’. With this kind of cheaper fucking machines the idea is that you can move the chair back and forth during use. Pictured is the Rockin’ Chair. Some look almost like a rocking horse, like the iRide. With these types of devices, make sure you have enough grip, because you simply do not sit still. A cheap alternative is the Fetish Fantasy Inflatable Hotseat. This is a kind of inflatable pillow with two handles and a veined vibrator. Giddy up, horsey!
Power Tools
Once upon a time, the real do-it-yourselfers started attaching dildos to their drills and reciprocating saws. However, the motors of such machines are not intended for use on the human body and the dildos had to be confirmed at your own discretion. Epic accidents were therefore lurking. There are now sets for sale that compliment a kinky handyman’s toolbox.
Make your own
If you know a little about it, you can of course also put together a fucking machine yourself. You must be well versed in mechanics, physics (because of the forces), electrical engineering and construction. Keep in mind that you are making a thing that will soon be used on / in the human body. Imagine that the lady who gets fucked by your device starts to squirt and a short circuit occurs … Better leave it to people who know what they are doing.
6 tips before buying a fucking machine
- Consult with your partner: A fuck machine is not something you buy as a surprise for your partner, unless he / she has discussed it with you many times. A fuck machine is not only a big expense, but also a very intense sex toy that cannot be compared to a simple vibrator or dildo.
- Budget: Think about how much money you want to spend. As you can see above, prices range from a few hundred to a few thousand euros.
- Stability: Think about how you plan to use the fuck machine. Do you have space to place it on a stable surface? Can you easily adjust the machine so that you can easily reach the right angle or height?
- Extras: What is included? Some fucking machines come with dildos and attachments, but others require you to purchase them separately (unless you already own them). Some fucking machines can also be used together with a masturbator (for example as an attachment of a wand vibrator), so that they are also suitable for playing a penis.
- Storage: Do you have enough space to put the thing down, or do you have to explain why you have that tool in the room every time visitors come over the floor? Will it fit under your bed or in the closet when not in use?
- Read reviews: It’s a hefty expense and it would be a shame if you’re disappointed. Also take a good look at the return conditions.
Using a fucking machine
- A fuck machine is not for light-sensitive people. You have to like raw hard sex.
- Before using the fuck machine, it’s a good idea to really turn yourself (or your partner) on first.
- Don’t be skimpy with lube. There is a lot of friction involved.
- Get into a comfortable position and be prepared for heavy, powerful thrusts.
- Place the machine in a stable place and make sure that it cannot easily fall or slip. Especially when the person the machine is aimed at starts to cum, all kinds of movements can cause the thing to fall over. That can lead to very nasty ‘poking’ punches.
- Be creative. Tie up the person who will be ‘operated’ by the machine, or put on a blindfold. However, do so only after you have familiarized yourself with the device. How do all the buttons work, how stable is it, and so on.
- Take care of your machine. Always clean it immediately after use. And then not only the sex toy (use special toy cleaner for that), but also the rest of the device.
View the full and current range of fucking machines in our shop:
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