Fucketlist: facesitting

In our series ‘fucketlist‘ we treat sexual fantasies of men and women. A fucketlist is something like a bucketlist, but with regards to sexual activities. That means it contains sexual acts that someone wants to have experiences before they die. In this episode we discuss ‘facesitting’.

What is facesitting

Facesitting (also known as queening or kinging), is a sexual act where one partner sits on the face of the other to have them perform oral sex. Whitin this theme there are a lot of variants possible. Mostly, facesitting is about licking the genitals of the person on top, but it could also be about anal-oral contact. The person sitting can be faced either way. Both persons have their hands free to stimulate each other. In some cases facesitting is used in a BDSM context with dominance and submissiveness, but that is not necessarily the case.

If facesitting is combined with dominance, submissiveness, or even humiliation, it is often combined with bondage. Sometimes the freedom to move is restrained by the weight of the person on top, and sometimes the person at the bottom is just told not to move. In some cases, the person at the bottom is being smothered by the body of the person on top and in rare cases facesitting is combined with golden showers or feces. There are also facesitting chairs, that can be found in the BDSM scene. The submissive has his head stuck in the seat of the chair, so others can sit on their face.

Much more frequent however, facesitting is not at all part of some (extreme) BDSM play, but more like a great position to have oral sex in. When you look for images of facesitting, you will mainly find pictures of women sitting on the face of a man. But facesitting can be done in any combination of genders (women below, man on top, two women, two men).

Don’t confuse facesitting with facefucking

Facesitting should not be confused with facefucking. Facesitting is mainly about licking the genitals or the anus (and the surrounding areas) of the person on top, while facefucking is about moving the penis in and out of the mouth of the partner (being fucked in the mouth), without the receiving party being able to move.

Why? What’s so great about facesitting?

Perhaps you ask yourself what is so great about facefucking? Often we are held back by our own assumptions, that limit us in expressing our fantasies. You might think that the person at the bottom is accidentally suffocated. But facesitting can be a great experience, exciting and satisfying for both persons.

Man or woman at the bottom – woman on top

For a woman on top, this position is especially pleasurable because she is completely in control over where her partner should lick her. On top of that, she can vary the pressure and has complete freedom to move. This means she has control over her own orgasm. Besides, she has her hands free, so she can for instance stimulate her partner manually.

For the person at the bottom, this is a very exciting position too, because the woman on top has to take the initiative. That way, she shows that she is a sexual being, that chases her own pleasure when she rides the face of the person below. For many persons this is extremely erotic. But what may be just even more important for the person at the bottom, is that they can enjoy the full smell and taste and they have a great view as a bonus.

This position is perfect as foreplay, for example in combination with position 69. Because the person on top is in control, she can tease the person below and determine how far they will go.

Man or women below – man on top

Less often, it is a man that sits on the face of their partner. In this position, the man on top ‘forces’ his partner below to lick his anus, balls and penis. This is the ideal position to play ‘the rusty trombone’.

Facesitting and a threesome

Facesitting is perfect when you are engaged in a threesome. One person lays on its back. One person is sitting on the face of the first. The third can now have oral sex for example, with the person at the bottom. Or the third person can have intercourse with the person below. When the two persons on top are facing each other, they can kiss or touch each other.  In short, facesitting is a great position to perform when you are having a threesome, because of its versatility in erotic stimulation.

Facesitting and sex toys

Like with every sexual act, you can use sex toys while you are performing facesitting. The person on top can wear a buttplug, or this person can stimulate the person below with a dildo, a vibrator or (if that person has a penis) a masturbator. A special form of facesitting is where the person below wears a so called dildo-gag. The person on top can fuck the dildo that is attached to a mask or a belt that is worn on the face by the person below.

Tips for facesitting

When you want to perform facesitting, consider the following:

  • Make sure the person below get’s enough air. You might want to agree on some kind of signal (for instance, knock on the bed thee times) when the person below needs some time to breathe. A safeword won’t help you, if someone is smothering you with all of its weight.
  • Place your knees besides the head of your partner an straddle him or her. You can use your lower leg to restrain your partner.
  • When you sit on the face of your partner, with your head facing the feet of your partner, it is easy to stimulate your partner with your hands. When you bent over, you go to position 69. But when you are facing the opposite direction, you can lean backwards to stimulate your partner with your hands.
  • Don’t worry about your odor or taste. Those who enjoy oral sex in general, and facesitting in particular, often say that that is why they love this position so much. You might take a shower (together) to make sure you are completely clean.
  • Bring some fruit to the bedroom, like strawberries. Again, straddle the head of your partner. Now rub the fruit against your genitals and then have your partner eat it. Or bring along some champagne and let it run over your genitals in the mouth of your partner. Be careful, however, because it is not easy to swallow when you are lying down. Poor it a few drops at a time only.
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Marc van Lier
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