In our series ‘fucketlist‘ we treat sexual fantasies of men and women. A fucketlist is something like a bucketlist, but with regards to sexual activities. That means it contains sexual acts that someone wants to have experiences before they die. In this episode we discuss pulling hair during sex, or ‘hair pulling’.

Why do people like to pull (or be pulled) by the hair during sex?

Not everyone gets aroused by the same things and that is okay. Still, many people like rough rough sex, where experiencing slight pain is not uncommon. Being pulled by the hair is terribly exciting for many people (but especially for many women). But why?

Pulling the hair activates the nerve endings in the head and neck. If you have ever had a scalp massage, you know that this feeling is very pleasant! The nerve centres for pain and pleasure are closely related. It gives a tingling sensation that can even be felt along the entire spine. This combined with sexual arousal is indescribably horny for many people.

Hair pulling during sex is thus a combination of a physical sensation (scalp massage to slight pain) and the feeling of being dominated. It gives an animalistic feeling of being desired and possessed, but not in a harsh dominant way. It is subtle!

Yeah I got a fistful of your hair

But you don’t look like you’re scared

You’re just smiling tell me “daddy it’s yours”

‘Cause you know how I like it use a dirty little lover

(Gorilla – Bruno Mars)

What is the best way to pull the hair (if your partner likes it)?

It doesn’t matter if your partner has long or short hair. Always make sure that you grab the hair as close to the scalp as possible. A good way to do this is to run your hand through your partner’s hair, press it against the scalp and then make a fist. Another effective way is to put your partner’s hair in a ponytail and pull from the base of the ponytail. Always make sure you pull as much hair as possible at once. The force is then distributed over a large area of the scalp. If you pull 1 hair, you will pull it out. If you pull 10,000 hairs at a time, it is virtually impossible to damage the scalp.

Do not pull the end of the hair, as this feels rather painful. Gently pull the head back. Do not make any sudden, hard pulling movements as these are painful for the neck muscles. Always start calmly and carefully. If your partner says he/she likes it, you can slowly increase your grip and strength.

Best positions for hair pulling

The best positions for pulling hair during sex are those in which she is penetrated from behind. So for example doggy style, or reverse cowgirl (she on top). But also during oral sex, pulling hair can be very compelling (for him as well as for her, by the way).

Advanced hair pulling: Bondage

Hair – especially long hair – is great to use in hair-pulling-bondage. If your partner’s hair is in a ponytail, you can wrap rope around the base of the ponytail. Or you can braid rope into the hair. This way you can use the ponytail as a leash, or to tie it to other objects, such as an anal hook or a piece of furniture.