About five years ago, Fleshlight launched the ‘Fleshlight Launch’. The bad news is that this mechanical masturbator is no longer available. But the good news is, this year they have come out with a successor: the Fleshlight Universal Launch. Or is it not such good news?

What is the Fleshlight Universal Launch?

Some refer to the Fleshlight Universal Launch as a ‘blowjob machine’. I would rather call it a ‘fucking machine’, or – perhaps more correctly – a masturbation machine. Because strictly speaking, it is no more and no less than a machine that allows you to mechanically move a Fleshlight or almost any other ‘stroker’ up and down in different lengths and speeds.

But there is also a bit of history.

You could call Fleshlight the inventor of the masturbator shaped like a torch (flashlight). They have been making different models of their now famous Fleshlights for years, sometimes even modelled after (the vulva of) famous porn stars. A while ago, the brand decided to team up with Dutch company Kiiroo, who in turn are great at ‘teledildonics’; remote interactive sex. Together, they had developed the Fleshlight Launch. This was a holder for Fleshlight masturbators, which you could use interactively together with webcam performers or someone who had a compatible sex toy. Well, long story short: that collaboration ended and Kiiroo came out with their own Kiiroo Keon (click for my review). With that, Fleshlight was left empty handed and decided to make their own mechanical masturbator. And so began a battle between two manufacturers.

The first Kiiroo Keon received the main comment that it could only “hold” masturbators from its own Kiiroo brand. This is no longer the case by the way, but I can just imagine Fleshlight thinking at the time, “Aha! But we can do that better!”.

And so Fleshlight made a universal mechanical masturbator. Universal, because you can basically put any stroker in it (I’ll come back to that later).

In short, the Fleshlight Launch is no more and the Fleshlight Universal Launch has taken its place. And of course the Kiiroo Keon …

So is the Fleshlight Universal Launch an improved version of the original Fleshlight Launch? Mêh, we shall see. Because where the original had the Kiiroo technology to interact with, say, porn videos (compatible for that) or webcam performers, the Universal Launch cannot.

Specifications:

Height: 40.6 cm

Material: Plastic (ABS, PC)

Battery life: 1.5 hours charging, 60 minutes playing time. Charging cable with universal plugs. Can also be used while charging.

Noise level: medium

Weight: 2.5 kg (!!!)

Use with: Most strokers and masturbators, regardless of brand

Number of strokes per minute: 250

Maximum stroke length: approximately 6.5 cm

Unboxing

The box the Fleshlight Universal Launch comes in is truly GIGANTIC. And if you didn’t know better, you would think – judging from the images on the box – that it would contain a miniature Star Wars spaceship.

Inside that huge box is, of course, the Fleshlight Universal Launch, plus a holder for your smartphone, an attachment clip, a charging cable with different plugs and an extra attachment strip. No manual is included. It does come with a card that directs you to a website for more information, but there is no manual on that website either. Now, operating this spaceship is not rocketscience, but still …

Those different plugs – or actually they are more like international adapters – might make you believe that you could take this thing on a trip, but then you have to be willing to pay for the extra weight in your luggage. I rather think it was easier than making different variants for different countries.

The size of this device is a thing, though. This is not a device you quickly stow away in the drawer of your bedside table. You could use the box to store it in, but that only compounds your problem.

Whereas the first generation Launch had to be charged for several hours before you could use it, the Universal Launch has ‘Active Launch Mode’, which is not much more than that you can just use it while charging. And that’s nice! In fact, I even wonder why it has a battery in it at all.

Compared to the first Launch, the design has changed enormously. That one looked a bit like some kind of fancy champagne cooler. The Universal Launch looks more like some kind of power tool, like a jackhammer. Or a Star Wars laser cannon. It has two handles where the main control buttons are also located.

The test drive

Despite weighing over 2 kg, the Universal Launch feels light. This is mainly because it has two handles so you carry the weight with two hands. I now realise that that also means you must have two hands, because if you don’t, this thing is pretty much useless.

By the way, I did not mount the smartphone holder. Look, it’s fun to watch porn while using this kind of machine, but I’d rather do it on a big screen. Especially since you can hardly hold this thing still while using it. Nice, that holder, but really nonsensical.

You can use pretty much any masturbator with this Universal Launch. That’s because of the well-thought-out way of attaching it. It has a kind of ‘tie-wrap’ mechanism, like you know from ski boots. With a little clasp that you can tighten, you secure the masturbator. Only the smaller Fleshlight Quickshot masturbators don’t fit (but Fleshlight made the Quickshot Launch for that).

I spent a long time looking for the manual because I thought surely there must be some kind of interactive mode on it. Something with bluetooth, an app for remote control, interactive porn? But no. And that for a device of this price? It feels like buying another car nowadays without navigation and air conditioning. On the other hand, it does allow you to get started right away. Just press a button the old-fashioned way and it does the job. And that’s nice for a change.

The stroke length of 6.5 centimetres does not seem like much, but it turned out to be enough. And 250 strokes per minute, that’s more than 4 movements per second! A girlfriend or boyfriend can’t beat that (let’s face it).

Besides four stroke lengths and four stroke speeds, you can also choose whether (in the smallest stroke length) you want to stimulate the base, the middle, or the top of the penis. So plenty of options to vary.

I used the Fleslight Stamina during my test run and must admit that, all in all, it was a pleasant experience.

Cleaning

You would say that the Universal Launch doesn’t really get dirty during use. But then you don’t know me. There will always be some lubricant getting via your hands to the control buttons and if you’re not careful there might be some leaking from the masturbator of your choice. But beware: the Universal Launch is NOT waterproof and so you can only clean it with a (damp) cloth.

Conclusion

If you are not looking for connectivity, interactivity or any kind of intelligence, but a simple hand-operated mechanical masturbator, then this is for you. Especially if you already have a few masturbators at home.

The PROS of the Fleshlight Universal Launch:

• Compatible with almost all strokers, regardless of brand (I have even seen videos online of people putting a dildo in it)
• Can be used while charging and even without charging. When charged, you can play with it for about 60 minutes
• Reasonable noise level
• Ergonomic design

The CONS:

• Huge size and therefore difficult to store discreetly
• No Fleshlight included
• No interactive features, as with the Kiiroo Keon
• No programmed patterns
• Not waterproof (so careful around water)

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I received this Fleshlight Universal Launch from Easytoys in exchange for an honest review. You can buy the Fleshlight Universal Launch from Easytoys or on Bol.com.