Years ago, we placed cuckolding in our Dutch top 10 of the most bizarre fetishes. But now we have seen so many fetishes, and we are not easily surprised anymore. In fact, everyone has his own fetish. Therefore, it is time to take a closer look at what cuckolding really is all about.
Cockolding: what is it actually?
The word ‘cuckold’ is derived from the English word cuckoo (the bird). The cuckoo places its fertilized eggs in the nest of another bird, and leaves the breeding up to the other bird. In English history, it was assumed that the cuckoo was also fertilized by the other male bird. And because the male of the breeding bird was raising the children that were the result of the ‘affair’, a human male who’s wife was cheating was called a cuckoo or cuckold. In the English language, a cuckold is someone with a cheating wife.
But in the context of cuckolding, de cuckold is well informed of his wives infidelity and in fact it even turns him on. The cuckolding lifestyle or the cuckolding game, should however not be confused with other lifestyles in which partners are non monogamous, like polyamorie, polygamy or swingers. In cuckolding it is a form of ‘cheating’ done by the female, with the intend of withholding sex at her submissive partner, while he watches as she has sex with (apparently) a more manly man or multiple men.
Cuckolding is a form of sadomasochism (SM) that gives the female more liberties than the man. Of course, there are different gradations. There are couples that visit clubs, where he is supposed to watch as his wife has sex with other men. But there are also couples that take it much further. In extreme cases the role of the husband is reduced to some kind of ‘pet’ or forced (bisexual) slave, while the woman has a newer other man, with whom she does have sex and sometimes even has children with as part of the humiliation of the (chronological) first husband.
A cockold-relationship is a relationship where the woman is totally in control. She is the Dommes, Dominatrix or the Mistress. Domination, authority, freedom, double standards, submissiveness, humiliation; these are all part of the game that leads to consensual sexual arousal. Most outsiders do not understand that in a relationship like this, there is mutual respect, trust and a deep bonding between partners.
The Cuck, the Bull and the Hotwife
It may sound like the title of a bad Western, but these are the three roles you can find in a cuckold relationship: the cuck, the bull and the hot wife. The hot wife has a relationship with the cuck (man). The cuck must watch how his wife enjoys having sex with a (often well hung) bull or stallion… It is kind of a threesome in which the couple invites a stranger to take part in the game. The woman will ‘cheat’ on her husband in front of his own eyes. Safe sex with dental dams or condoms are an absolute must t prevent STDs.
The bull can be a random person as an addition to the relationship, but it can also be a regular bull, or even a complete herd of bulls. The humiliation of the cuck usually comes from the different in size of the penis of the bull and the cuck. The bull is a kind of a hired stallion, just like you can hire a stallion horse to fertilize a mare for breeding.
Why would a man want to be a cuckold?
There are a number of reasons why a man would want to take up the role of being a cuckold. Usually it is the humiliation, the ultimate submission, jealousy and the loss of dignity, voyeurism, fear, curiosity, or a combination of these.
Not everyone can imagine that this can be a turn on for a man. But the big challenge for a cuckold man is finding a wife that is open for a relationship like that. Many women cheat, but only a few will do that to please their husband. For the woman it is a double feeling, since the cuckold is chronologically her first love. And to sexually satisfy him, she must (sometimes against her feelings) cheat on him. Cuckolding is not something a couple decides to do over night, or that follows an affair that she had. It is usually something that develops over the course of years, from curiosity, love, pushing boundaries, and a growing desire for SM.
So, what is wrong with cuckolding?
Nothing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this lifestyle, as long as it is a consensual relationship for both partners and they practice safe sex. The problem mis, that the latter is usually not the case. Cuckolding is often accompanied with humiliating the cuckold with the sperm of the bull. An essential part of this lifestyle are the ‘cream pies’: the cuckold is humiliated by having to watch his wife enjoying how the sperm of the bull leaks out of her. The humiliation comes from watching helplessly how a manlier man is impregnating the wife like a stallion. In some cases the cuckold is forced to clean his wife (by licking it all up).
The cuckold community is not very large, but this type of sexual activity is a source for potential STDs. Even if all parties involved are regularly tested, there might be a chance of getting infected with herpes or HPV (just because there are no reliable tests for men for these conditions). But also urinary infections, vaginal (yeast) infections and bacterial infections are waiting to happen when people exercise a more liberal sexual lifestyle without protection.
A condom is often seen as a ‘mood killer’. Putting on a condom is an unwanted interruption of the game. Unless it is made part of the game. For instance when she is able to put on the condom with her mouth!
Because of the possible differences in penis sizes, it is smart to have condoms of different sizes at hand. A smaller one for the cuckold and a bigger one for the bull.
In extreme cuckolding relationships, a cuckold might be forced to wear a male chastity device. A male chastity device prevents erections and orgasms, something that fits in the lifestyle in which de cuckold is withhold from sexual satisfaction. Such a chastity device can cover the testicles and penis completely. And there are devices that fit like a cage around the (facit) penis. Some can be attached to a Prince Albert piercing, others have integrated sounds. De woman can apply one of these while she forces him to watch and the chastity device is the ultimate way to withhold sex in the shape of punishment or control over his pleasure.