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Bloom ‘The Orchid’ wand vibrator; for romantic evenings – review

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Bloom The Orchid

Ever since Betty Dodson started recommending her favorite massage device – the Hitachi Magic Wand – in the early 1970s as a sex toy, there was no stopping it. The wand vibrator was a phenomenon from that moment on and many toys have since been inspired by this classic. Embarrassed, Hitachi has since left the playing field and the technology has not stood still. In recent years in particular, more and more mini-wand vibrators have appeared, which only resemble the first wands in terms of concept: a thick vibrating head on a rod.

EasyToys surprised me with this ‘The Orchid‘ from their own series with the brand name ‘Bloom’. “What did I think?”, they asked. That asked for an extensive test.

SPOILER ALERT: This is a damn smart concept!

What is ‘The Orchid’ wand vibrator?

The Orchid is a vibrator from the ‘Bloom’ series, which in turn is a private label of EDC (the company behind EasyToys). Bloom is a series of four vibrators, all with the name of a flower. There is a clitoral vibrator ‘The Tulip’, a G-spot vibrator ‘The Rose’, a rabbit vibrator ‘The Violet’ and also this (mini) wand vibrator ‘The Orchid’.

But it would fall short to simply call them ‘series’ or ‘private label’. It is in fact more of a concept, aimed at women who want to be in the here and now. Who just want to relax and give more time to themselves and their own pleasure. Because “self love is the basis for every love.” It is intended for women who want to recharge themselves physically and mentally. On the website ‘bloomvibrators.com’ you can read mindfulness-like statements such as “life is not a race“, “be present in the moment” and “NOW is all you have“.

You can see that reflected in the attention that has been given to the design, the accessories, the luxurious appearance and the tone of voice in the manual.

Specs & functions of The Orchid

Bloom The Orchid
Bloom, The Orchid

All nice, this ‘mindfulness’ stuff, but I’m a bloke and I don’t feel drawn to all that pink-flower shit. For me, it’s all about ‘what’s under the hood‘! So before I tried it out on my partner (female), I first studied what this device has to offer.

This wand is 22.5 cm long and has a 4.3 cm diameter head. That is not very large, so you could even insert this head a little bit if you wish.

The “The Orchid” (tricky, names that start with an article) is splash-proof. The thing is almost entirely of silicone, with a small ABS plastic edge.

It has a motor that produces five patterns at five different speeds. The uniqueness is mainly in the ‘swipe control‘ with which you can vary the speed. So no + and – buttons, but the embossed logo in the form of ‘the twig’, works as a sensor.

Unboxing the ‘The Orchid’

Bloom The Orchid
The box opens like a book

Yes, pink, right! Sweet. Romantic. What can I say? The packaging will appeal to many women. I especially wonder what an orchid has to do with a wand vibrator, but my partner thinks that is all too pragmatic. She thinks it is beautiful, just as she thinks ‘Gray’s Anatomy’ is a ‘beautiful series’ – I guess.

The ‘The Orchid’ flaunts from behind a window and asks to be released. The box has a seal on the side with the text “ENTER YOUR HAPPINESS HERE“. After the seal is broken, the box opens like a book. Call me a bitch, but even I was somewhat surprised. This has been given a great deal of thought!

On the left is the vibrator and on the right is a small box with the text ‘BOX WITH THE ESSENTIALS‘ – which later turns out to contain a storage bag and the charging cord -, a manual and (tadaa) a box with a blindfold! What a nice surprise! And what a beautiful device (fortunately not pink, by the way, but a nice kind of bluish color).

The ‘test drive’

Bloom The Orchid
Bloom The Orchid, blindfold, charging cable and storage bag

Did I mention that I am a man? Well, that might not have come in handy in this case. Not because you cannot use this toy as a man. Duh, of course you can also hold a mini wand against the erogenous zones of the male body! No, I am referring to my impatience. Without reading the user manual, I immediately pressed the button. Strangely enough, ‘The Orchic’ began to vibrate in one of its patterns. At first I thought that was very strange. But after playing some more with the device, it appears that this device always starts with the last used position. That is handy. By the way, every time you press the button, you go to the next pattern.

Because I had not read the manual, it was not immediately clear to me how you could change the speed. I was just pushing the ‘twig’, but nothing happened! Until I found out that you had to ‘swipe‘ it very gently. If you rub your fingertip over the twig from right to left, the thing will vibrate more slowly. If you do the same in the other direction, it will vibrate harder. Wow! That is really very smart!

What is also striking is that the ‘The Orchid’ is extremely quiet. OK, maybe that’s also because the vibrations are a bit superficial and not very deep, like with large wand vibrators. Yet. This is one of the quietest vibrators I have ever had the chance to test!

Bloom is a concept that seems to be aimed at women who want a moment for themselves. Nice, but that’s not how it works around here. When we use a toy, we do it – usually – together. And that’s when the blindfold comes in handy. After all, are you really going to blindfold yourself as a woman when you use this device solo? The blindfold that comes as an extra surprise with ‘The Orchid’ is a long strip of blue satin. As a blindfold I thought it was less interesting because the ribbon is rather slim. All the more fun is this piece of fabric to tie the wrists together! And so it became an exciting game that perhaps was a bit more kinky than what you would expect with such a romantic pink packaging.

Finally, there is one very small tiny thingy. Look, if you as a partner hold a wand vibrator in your fist, the head is on the side of your thumb. The operation of the button and the swiping is perfect like this. But if you play solo with a wand, then you keep it upside down (with the head under your fist). And then you really can’t swipe so well. Certainly not if you also have a blindfold on. I said it already; it’s nitpicking, because otherwise this is a great concept.

Cleaning & storage

We used some water-based lubricant during the test drive. Because the ‘The Orchid’ is not waterproof, you cannot submerge it, but you can rinse it under the tap. The instructions indicate how you should clean this toy; with a little antibacterial soap and some water, and then pat dry with a cloth. Very easy.

And there is a neat satin bag with which you can store the toy, the storage cord and the blindfold. This way you can enjoy this device for a long time!

Conclusion

We think Bloom is a very nice concept. It is not entirely clear what it has to do with flowers, but we were surprised by how complete the ‘The Orchid’ is. The swipe operation is really cool and the noise level is super quiet. OK, the vibrations are somewhat superficial. That makes this a mini wand vibrator that is very suitable for solo use, if you do not like extreme or deep vibrations, but are looking for something discreet. But together with the blindfold / bondage ribbon, it is also a toy that you can use perfectly for a love game with a partner.

The PROS of Bloom’s ‘The Orchid’:

  • Nice and complete
  • Nice luxury concept
  • Extremely quiet and discrete
  • Handy and unique swipe operation
  • Soft and body-safe silicone
  • Clear user manual in many different languages
  • Storage bag included
  • Blindfold as an extra surprise in the box

The CONS

  • Superficial vibrations
  • Less ergonomic in solo use (but nothing that can’t be solved)

The Bloom The Orchid was made available by EasyToys in exchange of an honest review. It is available at EasyToys, Bol.com and in our own shop.

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Marc van Lier
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Marc van Lier
As multi faceted as a Rubik's Cube. Wants to have a day off after every holliday. Has a bucket list that is smaller than his fucket list.
Marc van Lier
Volg me
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20 January 2020 Marc van Lier 954

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