Early December, Billie Eilish was on the Howard Stern Show. There the singer told us that as a child of 11 she often watched pornography and that it “destroyed her brain. Eilish thinks porn is scandalous. She watched it as a child to fit in.
Billie Eilish at Howard Stern
Eilish told Howard Stern what the effect on her has been. From a very young age, she was exposed to large amounts of pornography, of a violent and abusive nature. Once she herself became sexually active with partners, it appeared to have had a major impact.
“The first few times I had – you know – sex, I didn’t say no to things that were not good,” she says in the interview. “It was because I thought I should be attracted to that.”
How bad is porn for children?
Eilish is not alone in being confronted with porn as a child. Research by Sire shows that 79 percent of children under 15 have seen porn on the Internet. Of children under 13 the figure is 52 percent. Of children under 10, the figure is 31 percent.
Despite the fact that many children come into contact with pornography at an early age, for most it is not directly harmful. Nevertheless, children can be influenced by things they see in films. For example, according to Kijkwijzer, there is also a link between consuming a lot of violence and behavior against peers on the street.
If an adolescent is trying to explore their sexuality and believes that porn is a real representation of sex and intimacy, it can have a negative impact on sexual maturation. Small children (ages 7 to 10) who watch sexual acts may become repulsed because sex (without being into it) looks “weird” and “dirty. They may also get scared because it looks aggressive. Slightly older children (from about 11 years of age) begin to be curious, but may find porn especially dirty and distasteful and cannot understand that people do it because it is supposed to be nice. Each stage of sexual development has its own characteristics. If you are exposed to porn when you are not ready for it, you run the risk of finding sex dirty. You will then not be able to develop yourself the way you should at your age.
The overabundance of sex in media and the ease with which children are confronted with pornography at an early age seem to be leading more and more teenagers to consider sex dirty. In addition to the threat of social media, in which intimacy can leak out (e.g. because messages or photos are shared unsolicited), it seems that this is leading to a new form of prudery. Shame, fear and sexuality are not good for anyone’s sexual development.
Porn as an alternative to sexual education
It’s an open door, but it’s never a good idea to think of porn as a means of learning more about sex. Porn is a performance. It is a film, with a script, that is shot to make it visually appealing to the viewer. Of course, it also depends on the kind of porn you watch. Sometimes porn can be violent and frightening to someone who can’t (yet) put the footage into perspective.
For adults, porn can actually be very positive and a form of sexual expression. They know the context and know that what they are watching a fantasy world. If you are still in the process of learning about romance and intimacy and you don’t know that context, then – as mentioned – it can lead to a false image. This is probably what happened to Eilish as well. What will also not have helped in her case is that sex education in the United States is not exactly optimal (and that is an understatement). Had she grown up in a different – more open – culture, the process would probably have been very different.
Unnecessary negative stigma
As Eilish labels porn as harmful (to herself), she thereby also unfairly perpetuates the idea that porn is integrally bad. Unintentionally, she is making a judgment on the porn stars and consumers who do see porn as something positive.
It is often forgotten that porn is an industry that provides work and income for many people and in which many people enjoy working. More and more female porn producers – such as Erika Lust,Cindy Gallop, Michelle Flynn and Jacky St. James – are working hard to make porn positive, ethical and women-friendly.
In short: Almost everyone has experiences with porn. For some, that experience began at an early age. Everyone benefits from shame-free sex education and a safe culture to be open about sexual experiences, expressions, desires and ethical eroticism. Therefore, it is important to ensure that sex education is appropriate for the age stage a person is in.
- Steak & Blowjob Day (March, 14th): How to be prepared - 14 March 2023
- How to improve the taste of sperm - 10 March 2023
- Erotica: Scalp - 8 March 2023