There are two major reasons to use sex toys. First of, a sex toy will help to reach an orgasm more easily. Only one in five women can orgasm by penetration alone. A vibrator for simultaneous clitoral stimulation will increase the odds tremendously. But even if you have no problems climaxing, a sex toy will increase the fun factor excessively. It’s something new, something different. And you should know by now that sex gets hotter when it is varied. So it’s not a matter of if you will use a sex toy, but more a question of how.
The best sex toy
There is no such thing as the best sex toy for everybody. What is great for one, is a total turnoff for the other. Talk to your partner to find out what you like, or think you would like, and find the toy that fits that need. Are you looking for deep buzzing vibrations, or do you prefer them to be somewhat milder? Do you like naturalistic ones, or do you prefer a stylish design?
In general, you should pay attention to the following when you want to buy a sex toy:
- It should be hygienic and safe. That means that it should be made from non porous and body safe materials (not jelly). On top of that the design should be safe and easy to clean.
- The shape and design must be appealing and should fit your desire.
- It is an absolute advantage if the toy is 100% waterproof. Not only will it allow you to play with it in under the shower or in the bath tub, often it also means that it is easy to clean.
- The controls should be super easy and intuitive.
- The motor (if any) must be silent and the speed preferably continuously adjustable. Patterns are a plus, but not required.
- It should do what it is supposed to do, and that is to ensure better sex! An orgasm is not even the primary thing (e.g. in case of hand cuffs or a whip).
- Whether it should be rechargeable or battery operated, or with a power line, depends on the planned use. Do you use it spontaneously but not frequent, or on a daily basis and for hours in a row? Whatever you chose, charging should be a breeze.
- Other features, such as wireless remotes, linking to other devices through the web, are dependent of your personal preferences.
With the emphasis on ‘together’
When you and your partner discuss what type of toy to buy, it is of the utmost importance that you are both on the same page. Just conjure up a toy out of the blue (“tadaa”) is hardly ever a good idea.
But once you have decided what toy it should be, you might want to get inspired on how to use it of course. Here are some positions that you can do together and together with your toy. Just have fun and – hopefully – thousands of hot and toe curling orgasms:
The kitchen chair (sitting spoons)
Positions with her on top have the advantage that the person below has his hands free. And in case of the ‘sitting spoons’ you even both have your hands free.
In this position, the man (or woman with a strap-on) sits on a chair – or the edge of the bed – and the other person straddles him with her back facing him.
Now, take a vibrator to stimulate the clitoris of the upper person. A clitoral vibrator, like the Clandestine Mimic Plus (also, read our review), or an air pressure vibrator like the Womanizer is great for this position.
In this position you can perfectly reach her most sensitive area while she controls the speed and depth of penetration.
Missionary and lotus
It’s impossible to imagine a sex life without the missionary position. That is the position where she lies on her back and he is on top of her. Although this is a very beloved position, it is also the position where in it is very hard for a woman to orgasm. Especially when all the attention goes to the thrusting. Only if combined with the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) the clitoris gets sufficient stimulation.
But t all goes a lot better when both partners are sitting. This is sometimes called the Lotus position.
A good cock ring blocks the blood circulation of the penis, making it harder and the erection longer lasting. On top of that, it vibrates against the clitoris. And he will also be able to enjoy the vibrations in his penis and balls.
A variation of the lotus position (see above) is that where the ‘receiving party’ lies on the table and the penetrating party stands up.
The big advantage of this position is that both partners have their hands free to do other fun things with. Normally – without a sex toy – the clitoris would get hardly any attention in this position, except when stimulated by hand.
The extreme deep vibrations of the wand vibrator will be felt by the both of you, ensuring a fantastic orgasm in this position.
Why would sex always have to be about penetration? And who says that masturbation is a solo thing?
Mutual masturbation means that you masturbate in the presence of your partner. Your partner watches and may also join you masturbating. But mutual masturbation can also mean that you and your partner give each other a hand job at the same time. For instance when a woman jerks a man off, while he fingers her, or when two men jerk each other off, or when two women finger each other, or … you get it, right?
When you two masturbate together, you can use all kinds of sex toys. Just do as you please. For him there are all kinds of masturbators, or strokers, like the Tenga toys. Read our reviews of different Tenga toys.
Mutual masturbation is extremely hot, especially when you are a visual person. But it can also be very educational to watch how your partner prefers to touch him or herself.
The motorized cowgirl & reversed cowgirl
These are the positions where she is on top. In the cowgirl position, both partners are facing each other and in the reversed cowgirl she sits he is facing her back.
For the cowgirl goes the same as for the lotus position: The person below can stimulate the person on top manually, but you can also place a toy between the two of you for some extra fun.
In the reversed cowgirl position the person on top sits backwards on top of the partner. That partner now has a great view on the bottom. A great idea is therefore to use an anal toy. Consider for instance a butt plug with a jewelry stone, or anal beads.
The anus is very sensitive and when you’re open to it – no pun intended – it can be very exciting for both partners. Always use lube for anal use.
Oral sex is great. Not only to give, but most definitely to receive. In the right position, you can use your hands together with your mouth. But of course it gets better when you use your hands to operate a sex toy.
If the receiving party has a vagina, a good G-spot vibrator is a great addition. The absolute top in G-spot vibrators is the LELO Elise 2. Ok, it does come at some costs, but believe me: this is the best device currently out there!
But when the receiving party has a penis, there are some great toys too. Obviously you can use a prostate vibrator, but what about the Fun Factory Manta? This is a very powerful vibrator for him, to use solo, for you both during penetration, and … for oral sex. You can read about it in our review.
By stimulating your partner with your mouth and a toy at the same time, you increase the fun exponentially! Success guaranteed!
In bath or under the shower
The bath room is the favorite place to have sex for many people. And for good reasons. Taking a shower is ralxing, it’s nice and warm, it’s intimate and it is clean.
A metal sex toy has the advantage that you can cool or heat it under running water. That will bring some extra sensation. On top of that, you can just clean it under the shower (you’re there already).
Spooning is perhaps the most underestimated position. With spooning the man and woman both lay on their sides. The man is positions behind the woman. She tilts her pelvis and he penetrates her from behind. This position thanks its name to the way spoons lay in the kitchen drawer. The position is less tiring, less stressful for the muscles and joints, and the woman has full control over the depth of penetration.
In this position, both partners have a hand free to play with toys. And this is a great position for anal sex. So you can use a clitoral vibrator, llike with the sitting spoons. But personally I like this position to perform a double penetration. In that case, the man penetrates the woman anally and uses a dildo or G-spot vibrator vaginally. A glass dildo is perfect. Glass is not only beautiful, but also very rigid and safe. More into vibrators though? I can recommend the Satisfyer Vibes Master. This is a nice and big vibrator with very powerful vibrations that he will also be able to enjoy. Just read our review and also the endurance test we performed on this big boy.
A double penetration can be a great and exciting new sensation for the both of you.
Just like in the reversed cowgirl, this position is perfect to use anal toys. But it is also a position in which the woman can stimulate herself with a powerful vibrator, for example. Because the clitoris will not get any direct stimulation in this position, you can use some clitoris-gel gebruiken. It will make the clitoris more sensitive, making her faster and more aroused and therefor it will be easier for her to orgasm.
A good clitoris-gel for example is Durex Intense. But stimulating lube like Durex Play Tingle will also work great. On top of that, you hit two birds with one stone, because you need some lube for the anal penetration even though.
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