I recently read an article suggesting that people who are kink, queer or polyamorous are also more likely to be neurodivergent. This made me wonder if there was indeed a correlation. It turns out that kink is not only a refuge for people who think differently, it is actually also a healthy outlet for people whose brains work differently.
What is neurodivergence?
For me, until recently, the term neurodiversity was fairly new and some of the terms used were even a bit confusing. Neurodiversity is the idea that our brains all work in different ways. This does not mean that any particular way is right or wrong, nor does it place value on any specific neurological functioning. It only recognizes that what you consider “normal” (neurotypical) is just one of many ways of doing things.
A neurotypical person has a brain that you could say works the way society expects it to. A neurodivergent person, however, has a brain that works differently and may struggle with certain aspects of life.
People who are neurodivergent have brains that process and understand concepts in ways that differ from what is considered “typical” in social settings. Such differences can be in the way they learn, perceive the environment and deal with social cues.
The most well-known forms of neurodivergence are autism and ADHD. Much of the current research on kink and BDSM in relation to neurodivergence appears to focus on these two forms. Other conditions that are also neurodivergent include dyslexia, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, etc.
Meanwhile, the literature also uses the term neuroqueer, which is a portmanteau of neurodivergent and queer.
What is kink, fetishism & BDSM?
In another post, we explain in detail the difference between kink, BDSM and fetish. You speak of a kink when there are unconventional sexual practices, fantasies or concepts. Anything out of the ordinary can be considered a kink. This therefore means that what one person considers kinky may be considered perfectly normal by another. Central to fetishism is a fixation for an object, action, or (non-sexual) body part. That object is then called the fetish. The person who has a fetish for such an object is called a fetishist. The fetish helps the fetishist become sexually aroused. BDSM is a form of sexual expression that, by mutual consent, uses physically and mentally imposed restraints, intense nerve stimulation and fantasizing about or imposing power relationships and playing a power role. The acronym BDSM can be interpreted in several ways, and involves Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission (submission), Sadism and Masochism.
Why would neurodivergence and kink be related?
There is no hard correlation between neurodivergence and doing kink, fetishism, or BDSM. Nevertheless, it seems that within kinky communities there is a relative overrepresentation of people who are neurodivergent.
Neurodivergent people often have the same shared struggles, such as:
- Difficulty changing routines or expectations
- Difficulty reading or trusting social cues and coding
- Difficulty processing complex or oversimplified sensory input
- Difficulty responding to unclear communication or shifting focus
- Difficulty with or high confidence in nuance or gray areas
The level and way a person struggles is unique to each individual and the circumstances.
In people with autism, there is believed to be an association with diminishing sensory experience in kinky practices. For example, blindfolds, bondage, earplugs, or dark rooms may help reduce sensory overload in adults with autism.
Research has also shown that the explicit and literal language used within BDSM and kink is attractive to some autistic individuals. Within kink and BDSM practice, it is common to have explicit agreements about power dynamics, expectations of sexual (or non-sexual) pleasure and consent. Neurodivergent individuals may find this comfortable if they have difficulty with neurotypical (“normal”) social cues.
Kink communities can also provide a social community for neurodivergent individuals. A recent study published in The Journal of Sex Research examined how puppy play can be attractive to neurodivergent individuals. While recruiting people to engage in puppy play, it was found that the community contained a much higher percentage of autistic people than the estimated 1% of the New Zealand population. What was striking was that neurodivergent individuals changed roles less frequently than neurotypical individuals.
There is a well-documented relationship between neurodivergence and queerness, and queerness with kink/BDSM. But much more research will be needed to deepen this association.
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