Diapers are perhaps the biggest taboo of all fetishes. Adults with this fetish, love to wear a diaper and sometimes derive sexual pleasure from it. For many people, it is a mystery why you would want to wear a diaper when you have long outgrown your toddler years. But for the practitioners of ABDL (Adult Baby Diaper Lovers), it is more of a lifestyle.
Everyone has very likely worn a diaper at some point. Still, we think it’s weird when an adult voluntarily wears and diaper. According to Psychology Today, most diaper fetishists are men in their late thirties. Still, “diaperism” and ADBL occur in all adult ages and all genders. It’s not inconceivable that someone in your circle of acquaintances (secretly) has this fetish.
Age Play or clothing fetish?
One of the biggest misconceptions out there – with basically any fetish – is that we make assumptions about the fetishist’s motivations. For example, it is often assumed that every “diaperist” engages in age play. Age play is literally a role-playing game between adults, in which one of the parties pretends to be someone of a (very) different age. Usually, such a person pretends to be a person who is extremely much younger (infantilism) and dresses and behaves like a baby and is also treated that way.
Often age play is sexual in nature, but it doesn’t have to be. For many infantilists, “being small” and acting like a child is much more a way of going back to and safe place where you feel comfortable. Not every ABDL wants to combine that with sex, but others do.
For others, a diaper is more akin to a clothing fetish, such as a leather or latex fetish. For them, it is about the excitement of “peeing your pants,” or the feeling of wearing an adult diaper. For these kinds of diaper lovers, a diaper has nothing to do with infantilizing. They have no desire to act like children, or to be treated like children. Some like high heels, others like a diaper.
What a dungeon is to a BDSM enthusiast, an ABDL nursery is to the diaper fetishist. A good nursery contains nursery furniture – such as a playpen or a crib – in a adult-man size. Many accessories are also available in a large size, such as pacifiers or bodysuits. And somewhat depending on the age the age player wants to play, it can be combined with a school uniform, or a cotton bodysuit, or pajamas, and of course a nice diaper. Often this game also involves someone ‘playing’ the role of an adult; the nanny. The love and attention that comes with changing the diaper (by the nanny) can be an important part of the (sexual) game. There are clubs that have such nurseries, and where diaper lovers can indulge in their play.
ABDL – whether sexual or not – is a fantasy world for adults. There is no place for minors here. There is no connection between pedophilia and infantilism.
Why a diaper? Shame and excitement!
A diaper fetish is not something you generally show off with. A comming out can only rarely count on a positive reaction. Few partners can understand this fetish. Yet wearing a diaper in public – and the chance of being caught with it – can also be part of the excitement. It is naughty and exciting, for example, to let your pee run while surrounded by others.
Other diaper lovers, on the other hand, like the sounds created when moving around in a diaper. The feeling of a wet or full diaper can also be nice for some diaper lovers.
Humiliation can also be a part of the game. Being forced to pee in your pants, walking around in them all day, the shame and humiliation that comes with it, especially when the diaper starts to stink, the desire to be changed, only to start the whole cycle over again….
The helpless feeling of wearing a diaper can also be a form of BDSM, contributing to the denial of sex or as a form of chastity. The thick diaper can cause a strange kind of sensation to occur with the genitals, without the wearer being able to do anything about it.
Still others just love to look at other people in diapers.
What to do if you know someone has a diaper fetish?
The answer is simple: nothing. At least. It is better to respond neutrally and offer a listening ear.
If it is your partner who tells you that he or she is a diaper lover, that may be a different story. It may be difficult to put your own feelings aside for a moment and listen candidly to your partner’s desires and feelings. Try to show understanding and maybe even admiration and respect that your partner dares to express himself to you. Very likely your partner feels shame about the fetish. See if there is room to fill the needs together; how far would you be willing to go?
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