The first time. A memory that you will carry with you throughout your life. With whom you did it, and how, and when, and how it felt. In The Great NBRplaza’s Deflowering Survey we asked our readers how they experienced their deflowering. Below you can read the result.
Women deflowered earlier then men
On average, the men in this study were deflowered at age 18 (18.1 years), while women were deflowered more than a year earlier (16.9 years).
However, the age at which people are deflowered is falling. Respondents who are now 65+ have been deflowered on average at the age of 19, while respondents who are now 16 to 25 years old have been deflowered around the age of 16 (15.8 years). This corresponds to Dutch national figures, although there is also a trend that young people postpone their first time.
I turned 25 and got an escort lady as a gift from a friend. I was excited about it. I didn’t really have an erection.
In general it appears that the higher the education, the later the deflowering takes place. For academics, the average age is 17.9, higher education 17.7, high school 17.3 and secundairy school 16.3 *. Their religion did not affect the age at which the deflowering took place.
** For other educational levels, the number of respondents is too low to calculate reliable averages.
For more than half, the deflowering came at exactly the right time. For 8.4%, the deflowering came too early and 3.6% would rather have had their’s earlier.
We did it on the ground in the forest. Did very much. And then I had to cycle home.
Large majority has positive memories
More than 2 in 3 respondents are happy to look back on the deflowering. For men, deflowering is more often enjoyable than for women; 73% of men look back with pleasure, against 58% of women. 4% of the male respondents had negative feelings, compared to 22% of the women.
We were just dating when I was allowed to go on holiday with him. I just lay there a little while he took the lead, I guess.
In addition, 89% of the respondents said they wanted it themselves when it happened. Here too, the percentage for men is higher than for women (91% and 86% respectively). About 1 in 10 respondents was persuaded and unfortunately there was also one who was forced.
About 9 out of 10 respondents indicated that they were ready at the time of the deflowering. Again, there are differences between men (93%) and women (86%). Only a number of female respondents (11%) indicated that they were not ready for it at the time of the defloration.
I was drunk, so very happy that I even got him up at all.
What is interesting to see is that there seems to be a connection between the age at which one has been deflowered and the feelings that one has with it. Respondents who were deflowered around the age of 15 and 16 gave the highest score. People who were younger indicated that they had not been ready for it in retrospect, and people who were deflowered at later age, report that it would have been better if they had been a little earlier.
Usually in a relationship
More than 70% of the respondents were deflowered by the person with whom they had a love affair at the time. Only 1 in 10 respondents said they were deflowered by a stranger or during a one-night stand.
Seriously, 5 minutes. At most.
In more than half of the cases, the respondents’ partner was no longer a virgin at that time. This is about the same for both men and women.
More than half also indicate that the deflowering was satisfactory. Yet here the differences between men and women are very large. For 14% of the women, the deflowering was downright painful and unpleasant and another 25% of the female respondents indicated that they did not like it.
The use of condoms has changed considerably over the years. On average, about half of the respondents indicate that they used a condom during the deflowering. But where respondents who are now 46 to 55 years old, the ratio was about 60% (no) to 40% (yes), it is exactly the opposite for young people aged 26 to 35; 60% yes and 40% no. This also roughly corresponds to Dutch national figures.
Catastrophe, fingering for a little, then sticking his cock in with firce. 2 minutes of fucking, he squirts his cum in the condom and says ‘so that was nice. Will I see you in the pub next week?’
The vast majority of respondents (38%) participated in a combination of kissing, manual sex, oral sex, and penis-in-vagina during the deflowering. Oral sex was missing in that list for 27%. About 1 in 10 only kissed and fucked during the deflowering.
A lot of foreplay, followed by a full 30 seconds.
Positive for the development
The majority of respondents indicate that the deflowering had a positive or neutral influence on their development. Yet 14% of women say that their deflowering has had a negative impact.
47 men and 36 women aged 16 or over participated in the study (a total of 83 people). The sample is not representative of the Netherlands, but does provide an indication of the experience of deflowering. About 80% of the respondents were hetero sexual.
The research ran from 3 to 18 December 2019 and could only be completed anonymously online.
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