A fuckbuddy is a godsend. Everyone should have a friend with benefits at some point in their lives. Someone you can meet when you feel like sex. Sex and nothing more than sex. Unless it’s porn. But nothing else. Someone you don’t want children with, but do want to practice with.
You are not supposed to fall in love with a fuckbuddy. That’s not what fuckbuddies are for. It’s not forbidden, but that’s not what you have each other for. However, there comes a time when you wonder if your fuckbuddy is more than just someone you can get laid with. These are the 10 signs you can tell that this might be the case.
1. You have gone on a date with each other
A fuckbuddy is for sex. Sex and only sex. You meet him or her in the bedroom or hotel room, but not outside of it. Unless you were friends first and started sharing the bed out of laziness or lack of partner material. But otherwise, going out together is a clear signal that there is more than sex. If you are not only having sex but also doing nice things together, like going to the cinema (unless it is a sex cinema) then something is going on. You are only one small step away from a relationship.
2. You expect to be top priority
A fuckbuddy is a side dish. An addition. A fuckbuddy is never the highest priority. So if you’re wondering why he hasn’t replied to your message yet, or you’re offended that she’d rather go to a concert with her friends than spend the night in bed with you, then you’re ready for a relationship. And that’s not what fuckbuddies are for.
3. You stalk your fuckbuddy on social media
You check his or her messages, see which ones she has liked, who he talks to, start following her friends too, break into every conversation … You know the behaviour. If you stalk your fuckbuddy like this, you have feelings. Maybe you shouldn’t be friends with your fuckbuddy on social media at all. Unless you met your fuckbuddy that way.
4. You discuss your feelings
Fuckbuddies are for sex, did we mention that? Not for feelings. It’s about the physical, not the emotional. At most, you talk to each other about what you find horny. Feelings are there for your partner, for your lover, for your grandmother, for your BFFs. But not, we repeat, not for your fuckbuddy.
5. You feel alone without your fuckbuddy
Fuckbuddies fill up holes. In your schedule and in your body. But they’re not there to spend too much time with. If your bed seems empty without your fuckbuddy, he or she is coming to sleep far too often. A fuckbuddy is there for an afternoon or an evening. Nothing else.
6. If you don’t want your friends to get to know your fuckbuddy
A real fuckbuddy you share with your friends. It should not matter to you if you know that he or she also has sex with others. In fact, you discuss each other’s sexual exploits with others. And you introduce your fuckbuddy to your friend in need and then judge their performance, whether or not followed by a high-five.
7. You want to cuddle
This is an edge case. Of course you want your fuckbuddy to be intelligent too and to be able to have a good conversation. But staying over and cuddling after you’ve made porn in bed is too dangerous. Only feelings will come out of that. Don’t do it. For your own good.
8. You introduce your fuckbuddy to your parents
Of course you don’t say “hi, this is my fuckbuddy” to your parents when they meet him or her. In fact, you make sure they never meet your fuckbuddy (unless he’s your neighbour’s kid and you still live at home). But even in a conversation with your mother, you do not mention his name. Not even “This one had such a good tip for a film” or “This one had such a nice coat on”. Never, you hear? Never. If you do, you probably have deeper feelings.
9. You never want to trade in your fuckbuddy again
Fuckbuddies are disposable objects. Are you itching? Call your fuckbuddy. Want something different? Find a new fuckbuddy. If you see her as the only woman you’d ever want to have sex with, you might as well get on your knees. With a ring.
10. You are not honest
You can be honest with your sex buddy. You don’t have to make up excuses. “I feel like being pulled apart” is enough to see each other. A simple “I can go next Wednesday” should be a good answer. If you find yourself making excuses, it means you feel obligations. And obligations are only there in a relationship.
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